Happy Valentine’s Day – For Real.

I haven’t written in a while.  So very busy and overwhelmed.  Hope to write more soon and journal all about it….

Today is Valentine’s Day.  It could have been a yucky day.  A few months ago I would have told you hubby and I would be living separately by now.  But we aren’t.  We are still here chugging along.  Ups and Downs.  Good days and bad.  We’re working through it.

It has been a good day.

Yesterday I was out shopping and called home.  Hubby asked me if I got anything for the kids for V-day yet cuz he wasn’t gonna be stopping anywhere on his way to work tonight.  I already had.  That comment went straight to my heart though.  It hurt.  Because I knew it also meant that I would be getting nothing.  Yea, this is my PMS week, so feelings hit a little harder right now.  That was an OUCH.

Not because I need a gift, it is the thought that counts.  Everyone wants to be appreciated and valued right?  When someone takes time to show you that in any way, it is a good feeling.  We have been married for 16 years.  The man knows this is important to me.  He could write me a note.  He could stop at the gas station on the way home and get me my favorite cappuccino.  I’m not hard to please.  Just please do something.  He could just walk in the door give me a big kiss, look into my eyes, say Happy Valentine’s Day and mean it.  That’s it.  Like I said I’m not hard to please.  It’s not like I want some huge, expensive gift.

So last night when I got home I showed him what I got for the kids.  He said he was feeling so tired he didn’t want to have to leave for work early and stop anywhere on the way.  He said he wanted to tell me on the phone that I should just pick something out for myself too.  And he kinda laughed.  I said I’m not doing that.  That’s sad. He said then sorry to say you won’t be getting a gift.

Before I went to bed I made up little goody bags for the kids so they’d see them on the table in the morning.  I put his gift in a goody bag too.

He refused to open it this morning even though the kids were on his case about it.  Finally he whispered something to them and then they let it go.

After they got on the bus hubby said he was running to Napa.  Yes, he got me something while he was out too.  He said he wouldn’t open his this morning cuz he felt bad about not having something for me yet.  I said OK, now let’s both open them.  So we did.  You know what’s funny?  We got each other the same exact Valentine’s Day package of Demet’s Turtles.

Now that’s love.

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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