I don’t have the answer.
Actually I do. The answer is that you can’t. He has to make that decision on his own.
Believe me, I don’t want to accept that answer either. I know swearing doesn’t bug some people. But it does bug me. I hate that my kids are growing up in a household where they hear it every day. Hubby was raised that way. Now he swears – not just if he’s mad, just part of his normal conversations. I assume my kids will do the same. Although maybe, just maybe they won’t just because of the example I have set.
I have googled that many times over the years. “How to get husband to stop swearing”. There are a lot of people online asking that question and the answer seems to always be the same. You can’t make him. He has to do it himself. Lots of people recommend a “swear jar”. You know – he has to put money in it every time he swears. But for that to work, hubby would have to play along. And he’s not really trying so why would he do that? Besides that, his money is my money is his money…. It’s not like we have our own money and it will really impact him anyway. Neither one of us carries around much spending money ever anyway. We use our debit card for most everything. It just really wouldn’t make much of an impact.
Although recently hubby and I were talking about how mad he gets when kid1 licks her fingers at the table. He hates it and always yells at her when she does it. No that is not good manners and we have told her about it time after time. It’s just a really bad habit she needs to break. We thought maybe having a “lick your fingers” jar would work for her. After all, she does have her own money (earned from chores, etc) that she would HATE to lose. Maybe if we bring that up to her she will say “then dad needs to have a swear jar!” Maybe then he would play along…. I don’t know. See, I guess I haven’t given up yet…lol
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not the perfect little soul that never swears. It slips out occasionally. And I used to swear quite a bit. As a teenager, and yea even into my twenties. But after I had kids and I saw those innocent little faces watching my every move, I knew it was time to grow up. I wanted to be a better role model for them.
Hubby likes to remind me of one of my not-so-grand swearing moments. I was pregnant with Kid1 and had just started having contractions early one morning. Of course I had never been through that before and was blown away by the pain. I was pacing back and forth in our little home repeating the F-word quite loudly. I probably did that for about 30 minutes, while we timed contractions etc, trying to figure out if it was really labor or not and if we should go to the hospital. It was real and we went and about 10 hours later kid1 was born. I’m happy to report that I didn’t keep using that word at the hospital that day. Must have gotten it out of my system that morning. lol. It’s funny cuz that is the word I hate the most and I never did say that one much, guess it suited the moment though!
Happily he doesn’t use the f-word daily. Although it has slipped out a time or two when he was really mad. He does feel bad about using that one in front of them so I guess that is a plus. He works in a dirty, manly place. Lots of swearing and “guy” stuff going on there. Guess it is hard to leave it at work. He says I need to lighten up. Basically we’re at a stand still. So I think I have to let it go. There are worse things, right? Yea, I’ll continue to hope and pray that he makes that decision. And yea, wouldn’t it be awesome if Kid1 brings it up if we start a jar for finger licking …. They already say “Dad!” when he swears so they aren’t afraid to tell him about it.
O my gosh. Look what I just found!
Follow Up Post: Please Stop Swearing at your Spouse!