Simple Moments
17 Apr 2012 3 Comments
in Happy Hubby Moments, Marriage Tags: husband, Love, marriage
The kids were all in bed.
Hubby laid down on the living room floor to take a quick nap before work. (The floor helps his back.)
I walked by and saw him there. I had pangs of loneliness.
So I went and laid down beside him. I cuddled up close. I was relieved that he returned the cuddle.
He said “No work?” (Usually I work after the kids go to bed.)
I said “Yea, but I feel lonely. I need some attention.”
He laughed. He said “You know you just have to tell me what you need cuz I have no idea.”
It’s true. He really has no idea.
I felt happy at the time. As I’m typing this now, I’m thinking What?!? I keep telling you & telling you what I need!
We were quiet for a long time. He rubbed my shoulder. We talked about how many steps were in a mile and how many miles you’d have to go to hit the 10,000 steps goal. I love feeling his strong arms around me. I laid there with my head on his chest – watching it rise and fall with each breath, feeling his heart beat on the side of my face. I felt safe.
I miss this man. I miss moments like this.
I want every day, every moment to be this simple.
Thank you for the coffee.
01 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in Happy Hubby Moments, Marriage Tags: coffee, gratitude, happy hubby, marriage improvement, Thank You Lord
“Thank you for the coffee.”
“You’re welcome.“
-
Simple. Ordinary.
Insignificant to many.
Oh so awesome to me!
This happened a few days ago and I keep replaying it in my head. That’s how rare and wonderful this is!
I made coffee in the afternoon when I heard him waking up. I assumed he’d want some. I have done this a million times.
That
day
he
said
Thank
You!
Christmas Day was a Good Day
26 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
in Anxiety / Panic Attacks, Happy Hubby Moments, Health & Happiness, Marriage, Take That Panic Attacks! Tags: anxiety, Christmas, marriage improvement, Thank You Lord
I smile every time I think about it.
I am so relieved!
As I said earlier, the weekend started pretty rough.
But after all that it was nice. Very nice.
On Christmas eve we had some nice family time. We made cookies, we strung popcorn (hadn’t done that in years!), we read the bible together, we just hung out. Hubby went to bed before the kids and I wished he was awake to put out the gifts etc with me after the kids went to bed.
On Christmas morning, I like to take just a few minutes (like 10?) to wake up before the kids rip into the gifts. Usually this is met with harsh words and total irritation from hubby. I put in my contacts, make some tea, and get settled on the couch with my camera. Then I’m ready. It’s not like they have to wait long and I don’t think it’s horrible for me to ask them to wait a few. This year he didn’t mind. This year he reminded them to wait and I didn’t even hear any irritation in his voice. We sat next to each other on the couch. We talked and laughed. It wasn’t tense and terrible. I cannot tell you how happy this makes me.
Yes, he still did things like grump and swear about the transformer toy that challenged him. And yes he had some not so lovely moments with his sister at dinner at his mom’s house that afternoon. It’s not like he’s been transformed into some fake happy go lucky guy. But wow what a difference a year makes!
And from the panic attack / anxiety perspective…. Usually I take an ativan before going to these family functions. I didn’t and it was a little uncomfortable at times but it was ok. Like I said, Christmas Day was a Good Day!
I hope everyone had a Merry Merry Christmas!
THANK YOU LORD
I am proud of him.
23 Sep 2011 1 Comment
in Happy Hubby Moments, Marriage Tags: communication, husband, yelling
Him is my hubby. Yep.
I have written before about how important meal times are to him.
I don’t get it. But I accept it.
Last night I had to work the concession booth at the football game. Hubby has known this for weeks. There were leftovers in the fridge and I thawed out some burritos. All they had to do was put the burritos in the oven and nuke some leftovers. Ta Da! Supper.
Before he went to sleep that morning this was our conversation.
Me: “I got some burritos out of the freezer for supper.”
Him: “They go in the oven, right?”
Me: “Yep.”
Hubby was asleep when I left. He planned to be up by the time they all got home from school. Apparently that didn’t happen.
The kids took this as an opportunity to lay around the living room and watch tv with various snacks. They were probably thrilled to be able to watch tv before homework was even done. And unsupervised snacking? They were loving it.
I was gone about 2 hours. When I got home I asked if they had saved me a burrito – I was hungry. Ha. I heard all about it then. Hubby was mad. Kid1 should have made dinner. Before I left I should have given her complete instructions about how & when to make dinner. It was late now and no one has had a decent meal. Blah, blah, blah. Never mind that they were all happily stuffed full of marshmallows and chips. lol
The burritos had just been put in the oven and hubby huffed away to read the paper. I sat there a while thinking about how he could possibly be mad at me about this. I was sad that something like this could make him so mad. It felt like 10 steps backwards. Kid1 was up in her room. I went up to see her and asked a bunch of questions about what exactly had gone down before I got home. I knew he was mad at her too and I was worried he acted like a total jerk to her. He can be a big scary grump after all. She’s got enough drama already in her teenaged mind. She said “he didn’t really yell at me but he was mad.” That pretty much sums up the conversation. Apparently he also told her she needs to start worrying about other people too and not just herself and she needs to be more responsible around the house. Not bad advice. And spoken to her, not yelled at her.
Hmmmm.
Hey….. He didn’t yell at me either. He was mad and said so. But he DID NOT YELL. Wow.
So then the stupid burritos were done and we all sat down to eat. Hubby did not eat. He sat with us and did not say much. He gave me short, curt answers, but was not horrible. After supper he went to the garage. He stayed there the rest of the evening. And he was not mean, but still distant when he left for work at 10pm.
When he got home this morning he was talkative and smiling.
So compare this story to this horrible dinner time melt down.
I am SO proud of him. I will not tell him that because then I would be making a big deal out of it and he hates that :)
Do I think he should have even been mad in the first place? No.
Do I wish he wouldn’t let stupid little things get to him? Yes!
Does it bug me that it took him many hours to get over the fact that supper was late? Very much so!
Do I think it is insane to blame me when the problem was that he over-slept? Of course!
Do I think it is even more insane that he was mad about supper not being made and then he sat there holding a grudge and didn’t eat? Duh.
But get this: He was mad. He did not yell. He did not rant. He dealt with it in his man cave and he let it go.
Awesome.
Nice Things
28 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
in Happy Hubby Moments, Marriage Tags: happiness, husband, marriage improvement
It has been a nice few days. You know when you complain to a girlfriend about how horrible your man is, and then like an hour later he is sweet as pie and you feel bad for saying all those things… and you hate that now your girlfriend thinks your man is completely evil…. That’s how I feel. Yea, we have so many ups & downs in our marriage. The last few days have been full of “UPS”. Nice things.
————————————————————————————————
He slept with me. In the same bed. Rare occurrence. I did not know he was there until morning. I went to bed exhausted. I smiled when I woke up and heard him breathing next to me.
His parents came over for dinner. He was playing footsie with me under the table. It felt warm and familiar.
He is all about building this back porch and is very interested in how I would like it done. I was not prepared to offer my opinion, it is usually not welcomed, usually I must fight to be heard. I feel acknowledged.
I was trying to remove a splinter from the bottom of my foot. He got the tweezers and dug it out. Without growling once. And without being asked.
He commented on my hair. He noticed the color was different than I usually do it. He didn’t say if he liked it better or not. I didn’t ask. But he noticed. He never notices.
Yesterday afternoon, the kids were riding around the yard on 4-wheelers and go karts. I was sitting on the porch, just watching them and enjoying the day, hoping they were burning off the sugar rush from the Easter candy. He came and sat with me. We gabbed about nothing in particular. It felt easy.
He said “The kids and I should really cook supper 2 or 3 times a week and help you out.” I almost dropped dead. Huh? He said he knew I hated it. He said he wouldn’t mind as long as he knew what to cook. He doesn’t want to have to figure that out, but he’ll do it……
Dare I type it out loud? He has only sworn once (at least in front of me) since our argument the other night. I feel giddy.
Who is this man and what have you done with my husband?
None of these are big things. They are just nice things. I want more of them in my life.
Today, I feel peaceful.
Happy Hubby Moment – The Window.
18 Feb 2011 2 Comments
in Happy Hubby Moments, Marriage Tags: happy hubby, respect
I like to open the windows and let in the fresh air as often as possible. Yesterday is got up to 62 degrees here. Beautiful! So I had the front door open – the screen door closed of course. And the window in my office open a little. It was still a bit chilly but I figured it was airing out any sick germs in the house right? (ugh – nasty stuff going around school!) And I turned back the thermostat so that the heat wouldn’t kick on because of this.
Hubby and I have had many arguments about this. Ugh. Too many.
He hates it when I move the thermostat at all. I say get over it. I turn it down during the day when the kids leave for school. Our oil bill is $200/month! I’d rather wear a sweatshirt than pay more! It is warmer upstairs so it does not make him cold upstairs while he is sleeping or anything. He is the guy though that says you set the thermostat at the ideal temperature and LEAVE IT ALONE. Says it is more effiecient that way. I dunno about that. If I get hot, I turn it down.
He says I let the heat out & the cold air in when I open the windows. Yes, I do sometimes. It is fresh air and I think we all need that in the house. It needs to be aired out, right? I think so :) Like I said, I turn down the thermostat when I do it.
One time he came into my office, and just closed my window. I said I wanted it open. And he refused to open it again. And then yelled at me when I opened it again. We had a big fight about the fact that he thought he was in charge of the window in my office. It is my office. Yes we share this house, but no one else was in here with me. Come on, if he was in the living room watching TV or something and opened up the window, I would not just go close it.
It’s some sort of weird control thing I think. It makes stupid stuff like this into big deals.
The Happy Hubby Moment? When he came downstairs yesterday and saw the front door open he grumbled something like “The door is hanging wide open….” I think he thought kid1 just didn’t close it when she came in. I said it’s open on purpose. He came back to my office, walked over and looked out my window. He said it is still chilly out and closed it. And then he looked at me kinda sideways to see if I would react. I gave him a look and he opened it again and laughed.
The best part of this is that the last time we had a fight about the windows was in the fall, so September maybe? So it’s not something we have “discussed” recently. He just saw the situation all differently now that we like each other again. And respect? The respect is growing in this house. Before we both just wanted to win. Now, we want to get along.
He made me tea :)
19 Jan 2011 2 Comments
in Happy Hubby Moments, Marriage Tags: happy hubby, husband, marriage
I have been sick. Sore throat, coughing. Ugh.
Yesterday my germophobe husband made me some honey lemon tea. I didn’t ask him to. He just did and brought it to me. This is huge. It’s a far cry from the where we were a month ago. A month ago he couldn’t stand me. He ignored me most of the time and was irritated by me the rest of the time. So it was very sweet of him.
He brought it to me in a tall water glass. He likes to drink hot tea & coffee from these cups. I tried. I really tried. It was just too hot to hold. For a while I used a tissue wrapped around it to pick it up. I told him it was too hot to pick up. He said it’ll cool, just drink it. After a while of this I went to the kitchen and poured it into a big mug instead. Ahhh, much better. He saw me a few minutes later and grumped something at me about not drinking what he made me. I said I am I just poured it into a cup I can hold.
Why is this blog-worthy? lol
Well because 3 things happened:
1 – He made me tea:)
(Awesome cuz it was so nice from a hubby that previously was NOT being nice at all.)
2 – Instead of me just drinking it from the cup that burned my hands so I wouldn’t tick him off, I poured it into a cup that worked for me.
(Awesome cuz I did what I needed to do even tho I knew he might be offended – even tho there was no reason to be offended!)
3 – He grumped only slightly about me changing cups, I told him why and he got over it and life went on.
(Awesome because hubby is king of holding grudges and can be a real jerk when people don’t do things his way.)
We are making progress :)
Happy Hubby Moment #10 – Sweet Sleeping
31 Dec 2010 2 Comments
in Happy Hubby Moments Tags: happy hubby
He reached over and held my hand while we slept. Nothing more. Nothing less.
(Actually the fact that he slept in the same bed with me is quite something too – he often just crashes on the recliner.)
Happy Hubby Moment #9 – He apologized.
23 Dec 2010 Leave a Comment
in Happy Hubby Moments Tags: happy hubby, Thank You Lord
Yep, you read that right. My husband. The guy who is NEVER wrong about anything.
He apologized.
Now I’ll be honest and tell you that he texted it. But it still counts! That’s huge for him. His text said Sorry. And had a little sad face too.
: (
I’ll bet that in the 16 years we have been married, he has apologized to me maybe a total of 5 times. Seriously. So if texting can allow my hubby to say he is sorry to me but perhaps still ‘save face’ since he can do it from afar…. sign me up for the unlimited plan! Thank you Lord for texting!
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Happy Hubby Moment #8 – He’s trying :)
22 Dec 2010 1 Comment
in Happy Hubby Moments Tags: happiness, happy hubby, hubby
My last post said I was not good at being still. But the more I think about it – maybe it is working? I shut my mouth and left him alone about all this stuff that we really need to fix in our marriage. And guess what?
I think he is trying. I think he is really trying :)
I finally said “WHAT?!?!” when he was just looking at me for no apparent reason yesterday. He said “Well you said I never look at you, so I’m looking at you.”
What I meant was that he doesn’t even bother to look at me when we are talking. Or look up from whatever he is doing to even acknowledge me. It is very hurtful and something I have complained about to him. Now he wasn’t being sarcastic, and he truly IS looking at me much more. It’s kinda weird. And it’s weird that I think it’s weird when my hubby looks at me. I noticed his eyes tonight. They are flirty and fun. I haven’t really seen them in quite a long time. They kinda make me melt. :)
And here’s something interesting…. How long have I been trying to ‘be still’? That began on Sunday… this is Wednesday…. 4 days now. And yesterday was when this all occurred. So 3 days and look what happened. Interesting…..
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