Peace & Quiet
16 May 2012 1 Comment
in Health & Happiness Tags: gratitude, happiness, relax, school, Thank You Lord
Today is one of those rare days that happens once every month or so. Hubby is at an auction, kids are all at school and I have the house to myself.
Ahhhh. Peace & Quiet :)
I had an appointment scheduled with the guidance counselor to discuss Kid1′s classes for next year. Apparently this is something you do before 9th grade. The appointment was at 10am. I even took my ativan already so I’d be prepared.
Guess what?! I just called and changed it. And not because I’m all anxious about it either! I am a little anxious (teacher conference panic attack flashback!) – but that is not why. I was sitting on the porch, sipping my one cup of coffee for the day, enjoying the sunshine and decided I was going to take a time out for me! Yep, just for me.
SO I called the school and rescheduled it for tomorrow afternoon. It’s very strange how very much this makes me smile! lol
I do have a few must-do’s on my work schedule – so I plan to go get those done as quickly as possible, then have a nice long shower, and then maybe even sit on the porch and read a book on my new kindle. Sounds like an awesome plan to me.
Image Source: http://tracys-trinkets-treasures.blogspot.com/2012_04_01_archive.html
We Ditched the Musical
10 May 2012 1 Comment
in Anxiety / Panic Attacks, Love my Kids! Tags: anxiety, ativan, Kids, musical, panic attacks, school
Yep! Any of you that have known me for very long know that I am relieved!
(See: Last years musical)
Baseball. Did I tell you how much I love baseball??
Kid3 had a game last night at 7:00. It’s a 40 minute drive to the field.
The musical was at 6:30. Nope that wouldn’t work. :D
We let them choose which they wanted to do. And yes I even offered to take Kid2 to the musical first and then we could go to the game late. She was thrilled to get out of it. It’s not cool anymore you know when you are 12. Apparently it is “lame”.
Oh. my. gosh. What a tough day though! It rained on and off all day. So we kept thinking that they would cancel the game. If they cancelled the game, we’d go to the musical instead. See what I mean?
It’s bad enough to dread it and anticipate it and try to prepare myself for those blasted bleachers – but then it was just an anxiety roller coaster all day for me!
Is it raining?
Is the game cancelled?
Oh, the sun is out!
Is it supposed to rain tonight?
Should I take an ativan?
Raining again.
Who is that text from?
Did they cancel the game?
Aaagghhhh
Ha. Actually I kept that to myself – it was just in my head. I got a lot of work done yesterday – willing myself to stay focused to avoid the drama in my head.
We went to the game, it rained on the boys but they played through it. Apparently there was a power outage in town last night and the lights went out at the school. The musical continued with the emergency lights on in the gym. They sang a cappella. I don’t know if they still had the art show and book fair afterwards, not sure how they would unless they have great emergency lights in the grade school hallways. I’m hoping they reschedule that actually. I enjoy that.
I went all day without an ativan. I had planned to take it around 5:00 – then I would be prepared for however the night turned out. I got busy and forgot. Right as we were leaving for the game I remembered I never took one. I don’t usually need one for games anymore. BUT of course there was road construction and a very long wait. And a very long narrow roadway we had to maneuver through after we did finally get to go….
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And I had a panic attack right there in the driver’s seat.
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Not good. I felt dizzy. Passing out scares me and I felt like I was going to. You aren’t allowed to pass out when you are driving down the road with your kids in the car with you though now are you!?!? So I fought through it. I rolled down the windows, I fidgeted all around, I blasted the air conditioning in my face even though the kids were already cold from me opening the windows. (I told them I hated the smell of the blacktop and this would help. ) LOL I started talking fast like a crazy person – about all the construction workers and what they were doing. See how big that roller is, doesn’t that blacktop smell terrible, see that dude sitting there eating his lunch, oh they’re going to paint lines soon, and blah blah blah.
I got through it. I couldn’t go fast through the maze of traffic cones. And there was no way out and it sucked. But I got through it. And then I felt like jello. Panic attacks are exhausting!
The day was stressful cuz of not knowing what to expect. The anticipation of the unknown. And this is also my PMS time – so my anxiety levels are sky high anyway. And ever since that last panic attack I have been on high alert I guess. Add it all up and a panic attack was bound to get me.
I did take an ativan once we got to the ball field. I knew we’d be in that same construction on the way home and I really didn’t want to go through all that again. I’ll try it again another day. The ride home was uneventful. Yay.
NOW…. today is track & field for Kid2 and Kid3. Last year it rained so they moved it inside to the gym. I took an ativan and went twice that day. It’s not raining now but it looks like it might at any second. I’m guessing they will move it inside again but I really hope not! Aside from the fact that I hate sitting there in those bleachers, track & field is really a lot more fun outside! Outside they run & jump the hurdles, they hit baseballs, they throw balls at bowling pins, the do the shot put, they jump over that stick and land on the big mat (what is that called?!?), they have relay races. It is a LOT more fun. Last year all they did was play dodgeball for 40 minutes. Yes, we sat there and watched them pummel balls at each other for 40 minutes. Great job gym teachers. They couldn’t think of anyway to do actual track & field type activities in the gym? I thought it was stupid. Can you tell?
This morning I asked my kids if they’d mind if I didn’t come if it was in the gym again. They both said they didn’t care. I’m not sure my mommy guilt will let me stay home though, we’ll see.
Pray for sunshine :)
Panic Attacks: At Least I Tried
04 Apr 2012 4 Comments
in Anxiety / Panic Attacks Tags: anxiety, panic attacks, parent teacher conferences, school
Today I went to a parent / teacher conference without taking any ativan.
Yep, I was brave.
I only had one to go to today. I didn’t go to any for Kid1 – I was in contact with her teachers via email instead. Kid2′s teacher told me it wasn’t necessary for me to come. Kid2 is a model student and her teacher is a friend that I see pretty regularly outside of school anyway. There really wasn’t anything to say.
So that left only Kid3′s teacher. She is a kind, kind soul. I just love her. And I have not been worrying about this conference at all. This morning I still felt confident. Around noon I was starting to think about when I should take the ativan. You have to plan ahead for these things you know. Then it hit me that I should go with out it today! Hubby wasn’t coming so I could do my “fake it till I make it attitude.” And I was calm, not fretting… And there was only one and the teacher is so nice… And it was only for 15 minutes…
SO… I decided I wasn’t going to take it. Of course I second guessed that decision right up until I walked in to the classroom. Ha. At one point I was psyching myself up about it, decided it was a bad decision to not take it and was ready to go get one, but then I realized the conference was in 20 minutes so it was too late for it to kick in anyway.
So I did it. I went without ativan, my security blanket.
And I had a panic attack.
Embarrassed. That is how I feel now.
We were sitting there at the little table talking and it hit me. It wouldn’t pass. And it was just the two of us. There was no way for me to use my usual distractions – rummaging thru my purse, writing in my notebook, putting my head down, etc. Nope, she was 1 foot away from me, talking directly to me, looking right at my face. There was no where to hide. I realized I couldn’t do any of those things. I had no idea what to do and it freaked me out! I couldn’t make it pass. I really think I might have passed out if she hadn’t asked me if I was ok. That changed the situation enough to give me a distraction and collect myself.
She asked me if I was ok. I told her no I wasn’t and said my head was pounding. (I didn’t know what to say!)
She took that to mean I had a migraine hit me all of the sudden. She jumped up to offer me a drink of water. I got a motrin from my purse and got a drink from the fountain to wash it down. I didn’t need a motrin! But I played along. It was better than saying, no I’m just nuts…this will pass soon if you don’t mind just letting me freak out for a minute!
We sat back down and tried to wrap up the conversation but it still drug out longer than I wanted. I was so shaky. She is still wonderful and I think that is why I feel so embarrassed. I don’t like freaking out in front of someone I think so highly of. Of course I don’t want her to think I’m crazy.
I had the panic attack because I was worried about having one.
It wasn’t because I was in a stressful situation or a horrible place. It was just cuz my mind took me there. This should have been an easy situation. This is a setback for me because I don’t think I’ll be trying that again anytime soon.
Except that right now I’m thinking I want a do-over! I want to go back in there tomorrow and try again! Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. School is closed tomorrow or I might try it! lol That would be great – I could go back in, thank her for being so understanding today, ask her if there was anything else she wanted to talk about but didn’t get to since we finished quickly since I didn’t feel well. That would be great because I really wanted to conquer this!
The fact that I wish I could do that makes me smile. It makes me proud of myself for not just giving up and giving in to the panic monster.
Today it kicked my butt. At least I tried though :)
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Free To Stress Myself Out
21 Mar 2012 4 Comments
in Anxiety / Panic Attacks Tags: anxiety, ativan, Kids, panic attacks, parenting, school, venting
I am free this morning.
Kids are off to school. Hubby is at an auction. He left work at 4am, came home, changed, picked up his dad at 5:30 am and off they went. The auction is about 1 1/2 hours away. Crazy if you ask me – but these are things that John Deere fanatics do :)
So I am home alone. This is very rare. I have not done anything differently than normal – I started laundry, put another coat of poly on the table I am refinishing, cleaned up a little, and sat down here at the computer to get to work. That’s not really different. (Except that I am blogging, not working :/) What is different is the way I feel! I just love that I can do whatever I want and no-one is gonna question me or criticize me. It’s freeing! Even though I am only doing laundry etc. My hubby has something to say about everything! I am constantly having to explain myself or defend a decision I made. It is exhausting!
(Occasionally I go on strike and refuse to answer his questions or defend my choices. I tell him I’m sick of explaining myself to him and then I refuse to. Ha. Perhaps it’s time for that again. See what perspective some alone time can bring :)
Unfortunately this day is stressing me out for other reasons. I am taking Kid3 to the dentist after school today – he has cavities that need to be taken care of. I have been putting it off because they are in his baby teeth and I was hoping they would just fall out soon. It hasn’t happened yet. One is looking pretty icky and is not loose at all. He has never had this done before and is very worried that it is going to hurt. And we all know how I love the dentist. I’m nervous for him. I’m also nervous that I will have panic attack from having to sit there and watch. I don’t do good with stuff like that.
To add to that, I expect to get my period today, so my hormones are in overdrive. Hormones greatly affect my anxiety! My anxiety levels always skyrocket when I have PMS.
I also have a gazillion upcoming events swirling around in my head that I am already starting to stress about. Teacher conferences are in 2 weeks I think. The spring musical is coming up in May. The kids have started practicing their songs and whining about having to go. Hubby already told them they had to. It seems like the school year is going to end quickly. Everyone is talking about all the happenings, and planning all this stuff. Kid1 has the spring formal to attend. The band concert is coming up. The music teacher has mentioned that she may have the 6th graders play with the band too – which means that both Kid1 & Kid2 would be in it. Kid2 asked me to help chaperone their field trip. Not sure yet where they are going, but a charter bus in usually involved. Talk about feeling trapped! How can I say no?? When your kid wants you around, you take advantage of it! :) And the year end awards assemblies that I absolutely LOVE (sarcasm!)? They are coming up too only this year will be bigger. Kid2 is “graduating” from elementary school. They have a 6th grade graduation assembly which is longer and involves a reception type thing in the cafeteria afterward. (Our school system has elementary school from K-6 and the the high school is grades 7-12)
I know all these things are not happening today and I need to put them out of my mind. I know that they will not be as bad as I anticipate. They never are. I also know that the dentist today will be ok. It just will.
It’s been a good while since I’ve taken any ativan. I couldn’t remember when so I looked at my Joes Goals Log and see that it was March 1st when I took Kid1 shopping to get her dress for the formal. (That’s a whole other post!) Very cool that’s been that long. I can’t remember the last time I took an ativan…. I like that sentence! So I’m gonna remind myself that I’ve been doing good, that I know it’s just hormones that are kicking my butt today, I am not insane, and it will all be OK. And I will definitley be taking an ativan this afternoon.
And that is OK.
Parent Teacher Conferences in One Hour
22 Nov 2011 3 Comments
in Anxiety / Panic Attacks, Love my Kids! Tags: anxiety, Kids, parent teacher conferences, school
Here we go again.
I just love parent teacher conferences! Not.
I can do it.
First is the math teacher to discuss my daughter’s lack of algebra skills.
Then my son’s teacher. This will be fine, hopefully I will hear that he is doing better and not asking to go to the nurse every single day. He did that for quite a while, trying to wrangle his way home.
Then my middle daughter’s teacher. This will be fun. The teacher is Kid2′s BFF’s mom and a good friend of mine. And Kid2 is like a star pupil, so I don’t expect any bad news.
Then, my girls & I are going shopping.
Good day ahead.
Gotta get the nerves under control and get on with it.
Kids, A Grump & Anxiety.
16 Nov 2011 3 Comments
in Health & Happiness Tags: anxiety, Kids, school, venting
Brain Dump.
Whatever.
Hubby is not here this morning. I feel free. Sad. True. I like alone time. I really am doing the same things I do every morning so I don’t know why it is such a big thing for me. But it is. I love it.
Kid2 was in a mood this morning. She is stubborn beyond reason. I offered to drive them to school since she had to carry her saxophone today. She spouted something about how they are always late when I take them – no thank you. No, we have never once been late when I take them. My kids have always wanted to get there after the first bell rings so they don’t have to stand outside with the big swarm of kids that then make a mad dash into the building. We usually arrive just as that bell is ringing, or immediately after. She has now decided that is late. Who knew? If she wanted to get there earlier, couldn’t she just have said that?? She was just in a mood.
Kid3 was then all upset when he heard that I had offered but she threw a fit so now they were riding the bus. He hates the bus ride. By the time this all came out we were already sitting at the bus stop. Just get on the bus people! My coffee is waiting!
Kid1 has been grounded since the report card with the D came home. She has been studying a lot more and I thought doing better. It was like a kick in the gut when I checked her grades this morning online and see that she got 9.5/25 on the last math quiz. Yes. 9.5 right out of 25. WTH? I helped her study for that. I thought she knew it. The worst part is that she knew that, she had that test in her backpack and chose not to tell me. That’s bad cuz she gets to re-take the test and we could have been studying! She has to take it by tomorrow. He then averages the grades of the 2 tests. It sucks cuz even if she got 100% on the retake, she could still only get a 50%. I guess looking at it that way, what’s the point?
I need to take some steps back from all this crap with Kid1′s grades. Yea, I need to help her figure out what on earth the problem is this year. (Before this year she has always gotten A’s & B’s (maybe 1 c?) She had to work hard, but she was able to do it. This year it just feels out of control. As soon as you regroup and figure out what went wrong with one nasty grade, there is another one staring you in the face. So, yea I need to help her and I will. But I think I also need to realize that these are HER grades. And not take it so personally when she fails something. I do because I spend hours of my life almost everyday helping her / encouraging her / making her do her homework / asking her when stuff is due and trying to get her to remember to write things down and be organized. It’s exhausting.
Like I said, I need to take a step back. Even if she fails algebra, it is not the end of the world. So she repeats it next year. So that completely sucks. It still isn’t the end of the world. Right? And now next week are parent teacher conferences. Most of her teachers I just talked to via email but her math teacher would like me to come in and have a face to face chat. LOL Great.
I can’t stand her math teacher. I don’t think he teaches. This is his first year teaching algebra (He was previously a science teacher)and I really don’t think he has much of a plan. He said at the beginning of the year that there would never be homework. If they cover something in class and they feel like they need more practice, they should complete some problems from the book, the answers to the odd numbers are in the back of the book. And if they still don’t understand it, they should google it. Honest. That is what he told them. Seems like he is taking the easy way out to me. If they still don’t understand it, wouldn’t you want your students to ask you questions? It’s math for heaven sakes…homework is necessary. And tell a class of 8th grade students that there is never any homework unless they CHOOSE to do it? Yea, right. All that means is that parents like me who DO care if their kid understands it become the math teachers/homework enforcers. Ugh.
So this conference should be interesting for sure. :D
I have an eye doctor appointment tomorrow. I hate going to these appointments. They have all those machines in dark rooms. It makes me feel trapped. You know – the one that blows air in your eyeball. And the one that takes a pic inside your eye. And then you sit in that chair with that contraption in front of you while he says #1 or #2? repeatedly until you find the right prescription. I hate it. But I need to go. So I will go. Yes, I will.
And hubby has been sleep deprived this week so he has been grumpy. It is his own fault he is sleep deprived – that’s why it pisses me off. And he will never never never admit that is why he is grumpy.
Yesterday Jill posted about having an anxiety filled day. It’s like she was here with me! (Hi Jill!) I was jumping out of my skin yesterday. I really really really wanted to take an ativan. But I didn’t. I’m glad I didn’t but it was very hard! I did deep breathing. I lit my candle. I took breaks from working on the computer and tried to distract myself. I did finally feel better and relax some after Kid1 and I took a walk when she got home from school. She’s back to hating me for making her walk by the way. Yay. But the exercise did help my nerves. I should have gone for a walk sooner.
Guess I just needed to vent this morning.
Happy Happy Day. I need to be done with this complaining crap and get on with it. I have work deadlines looming over me and I need to focus!
Help with Algebra
14 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
in Love my Kids! Tags: algebra, Kids, school
Just in case anyone is interested. I found this program online to help my daughter with math.
It’s called Algebra Upgrade. It is upbeat and fun and has music that she sometimes thinks is corny, but the songs stick in your head and you find yourself singing along :)
http://www.learningupgrade.com/html/auhome.htm
So far we have just signed up for the free 7 day trial but I am completely impressed!
She went through 4 lessons last night without too much protesting. And one lesson she kept repeating to get a better score even though it did let her continue on. She wanted to get 100% in it and kept re-doing it. What they are doing in class right now corresponds with lesson 33 in this program but truly – she has learned things in lesson 3 that she should have already known. So yes, she is behind and I’m not sure how it will work to help her immediately, but it will definitely help in the long run. After the trial period it is $50 for 6 months access. Seems well worth it! Let’s hope it helps!
They have a reading comprehension program also – that has always been a struggle for her. Perhaps that will be a summer activity for her….. She’ll be thrilled. lol
I was happy to be caught off guard.
10 Nov 2011 2 Comments
in Anxiety / Panic Attacks, Love my Kids! Tags: Kids, panic attacks, parent teacher conferences, school, Thank You Lord
Today was parent visitation day at school. We all know how I love parent visitation day. :)
This week has been so hectic. SO hectic. I knew it was coming up. I thought parent visitation day was next week tnough. Nope, next week is parent-teacher conferences. Parent visitation day is TODAY.
I figured this out last night when going over my kids homework about 8pm. The teachers had sent home class schedules telling us when we were allowed to come.
Ummmm. NOoooo. It can’t be tomorrow. I’m not ready. I have not had time to prepare for this!!!!
Well maybe that was a good thing. I hid my fear, got everyone off to bed, ran the dishwasher, picked up the house, did all the things I do before I go to bed each night. Then I sat down to watch the Duggars on DVR. I wouldn’t even let myself think about it. I went to bed around 11:30, just telling myself I’d figure it out in the AM.
That worked pretty well except I woke up at 6am worried about what time I was supposed to be there.
I was late getting in the shower this morning and I had to really hurry to get out the door on time. I got all ready, grabbed their schedules and my water bottle and left. After I parked…… After I parked is when I finally let myself slow down and think about it. In the car, I reread my old posts about Parent Visitation Day last year on my ipod. I took some deep breaths, I had already taken ativan that morning to calm my shakes, I prayed. I laid my head back on the head rest and just relaxed for a few moments.
Then I walked into the school. I was fine. I signed in and went to Kid3′s classroom. It was too hot in that room and I immediately hated it. I found a chair and pulled it up to his desk. He smiled. They were doing math and adding large numbers using little hundred, tens, ones blocks. As soon as I sat down I felt red-faced. I felt the dizziness coming. I looked down. I got my purse and dug for a cough drop. (I already had one in my mouth cuz I still have my nasty cold.) I found my little notebook and pen. I almost left. I was very worried because the panic moment was not passing. If it doesn’t pass, it will turn into the panic monster. I did NOT want to pass out! I was very worried I was going to. I kept putting my head down like I was looking in my purse on the floor. I wrote in my notebook. “Thank you Lord, I just want to Thank you Lord for blocks of ten.” I just kept looking around and writing whatever I saw in that part of the song. I was SO VERY close to telling kid3 I’m sorry, I’m sick, I have to leave! But I didn’t. I’m glad I didn’t.
It finally passed. Thank God the panic moment passed.
And then I was fine. He worked on some math problems, he played a math game with his group, and then it was time for me to go to Kid2′s classroom.
Since kid2 was finished with whatever project the rest of the class was working on, her teacher asked her to start putting the stuff up on the bulletin board in the hall. As kids finished their drawings/essays/paper people, they brought it out to her and she stapled it up. I helped. It was a nice change. The panic monster was no where in site. After that she had math and we all sat in a very crowded room with the teacher loudly in control of her large class. But it was ok. I was good. I stayed through math even though kid2 informed me that I could leave. lol (She’s almost one of those unruly teenagers!!)
Then it was time for me to go and I was practically giddy that it was over. I did it. There was less drama than last year because I was too busy and it crept up on me. I felt completely unprepared to face this today. But I did it anyway. Good. Done.
More on my Anxiety Ridden Week
27 May 2011 2 Comments
in Anxiety / Panic Attacks Tags: anxiety, panic attacks, school, Thank You Lord, wellbutrin
The awards assemblies were Wednesday and Thursday. The band concert was Wednesday evening. The awards at the high school today are for students only, parents are not invited. Hallelujah.
I made it through. Sorry for the drama. I’m apologizing to me. I can do better.
It was hard at some points, it was easy at some points. This year was worse than last which makes me mad. I went to the award assemblies alone. Hubby was sleeping. Usually grandparents come, but Grandma is having a lot of pain in her legs and is limping around, so they stayed home. Alone was fine, I didn’t need to explain my seating choices to anyone. Or what I am writing in my notebook. I had my distractions. I had my camera. I had my notebook. Thank the Lord that on Thursday they turned on one of the big fans in the cafeteria. The band concert was the hottest event of them all. No air moving through that place at all, but I think I was most peaceful there. I did not go to this alone. Hubby and I did divide and conquer though, so he and kid3 were at baseball. Kid2, her bff and I went to the concert. Kid1 did great and sweat under those hot stage lights even more than we did in the audience. I know the school cannot afford air conditioners but geesh.
My worst day this whole week was Monday. Go figure. The anticipation of these events hit me so much harder than the actual events did! That is a big problem for me! It is often like that. I totally psych myself out worrying about the “what ifs”. And often there aren’t any particular “what ifs” in my mind, just dread about the upcoming events. I don’t know what to do about it. But I am sick of it.
Monday I freaked out. I really did. It was exhausting. Tuesday I was shaky and felt like I’d been through the wringer. Just completely wiped out. I really started to wonder if I was getting sick. I wasn’t, I was just mentally drained. I am angry about this because I have been doing so well and up until this week had the attitude of “Bring it on!”. But it beat me.
I am considering going back on wellbutrin. I do not want to run to medication. I want to run away from it but actually, but it is so hard! This week was so hard! I have been off of wellbutrin for approx 2 years I think? I was taking it when I had my first ever panic attack. At the time I was convinced that it caused it. I went off & on it twice since then, trying to decide if it was helping me or making it worse. There are many other factors that I can blame my first panic attack on. Most likely it was a combination of many things. Someday perhaps I’ll gab about that. I am a regular lurker on a few anxiety forums…. yesterday I found a comment from someone that helped…….
“The wellbutrin gets rid of the obsessive thoughts I have about my anxiety and panic attacks and I take the ativan when I am having an actual panic attack..”
That is EXACTLY what I need. Exactly.
Wellbutrin is an antidepressant, not an anti-anxiety medication. It helped me in many ways though and I have been wanting to give it another try. However, I know that is also kinda increases your energy etc and that CAN increase anxiety. So I have debated this repeatedly. I know that Paxil worked best but I refuse. Paxil made me fat. I will not go back there. Wellbutrin MIGHT work for me again. If I could stop the obsessing in anticipation of things I would definitely enjoy my life more.
It’s hard to try again because there is a risk of increased anxiety. And the beginning side effects are yucky. I remember feeling nauseous a lot at first. Until it gets in your system and your body adjusts. Yuk. And it made my hands shake. I was on the lowest dose and it still made me shake. My doc told me to skip a pill occasionally when the shaking got too bad. That did help… I want to try it but I’m being kinda chicken I guess. Plus I really don’t want to depend on drugs to be normal! On the plus side though, I remember being more motivated and focused when I was taking wellbutrin. I remember noticing the cobwebs in the kitchen corner after I started taking wellbutrin. Ha! I had never noticed them before. It’s like I was more present. Know what I mean? And yes, I did lose weight on wellbutrin too. That was a nice plus…
So I guess I’ll look and see how soon my next Dr appt is and talk to her about it then. We’ll see.
Sweating at the Assembly
26 May 2011 2 Comments
in Anxiety / Panic Attacks Tags: anxiety, panic attacks, school
Pics from Awards Assembly #1:
See the man. See the fan that is NOT turned on. See the man sweat.
They have 2 of those huge fans in the cafeteria but did not turn them on because they are too loud. I would rather be able to breathe than hear. Just sayin’.
You know how I like to use distractions to keep my mind busy and to keep from fretting about panic attacks? Well watching his shirt slowly become soaked was quite an interesting distraction. He did get up and leave at one point. He came back with a bottle of water. To this man: sorry to use you as an example here on my super secret blog. I promise I will not reveal your identity. But thank you for the distraction yesterday and helping me to know I was not alone in my suffering!
I really wanted to take a pic of a guy to my right who had sweat dripping from his very strange sideburns, but that would have been way too obvious. lol It would have been a great pic though!
More tomorrow…. trying to stick to my 10:30 bedtime. G’night :)
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