Nerve Tonic
16 Apr 2012 2 Comments
in Anxiety / Panic Attacks, Health & Happiness Tags: anxiety, ativan, wellbutrin
I bought this at Walmart. It’s been in my desk drawer for quite a while.
Wellbutrin makes me shake. I have trouble even cutting a straight line. My daughter asked me to paint her nails. That did not work! It has really been bugging me and becoming a real problem.
Usually an ativan helps but I don’t want to take any more of those than necessary so I tried this.
I am amazed. It may be too good to be true.
It takes away my Wellbutrin shakes!
I have not noticed any side effects. It says it is non-habit forming. Seems to good to be true. The box says ” Temporarily relieves the symptoms of simple nervous tension and stress.” I don’t think my nervous tension is simple by any means! lol I have no idea if it would actually help with my anxiety but I am going to keep trying it because I am amazed at how it made my shaking stop! Yay!
———-
When I first tried it I made some notes on my daily log just to keep track of it.
3/25 nerve tonic pill – took about 2:55 pm- now its 4:05 pm and I am definitely calmer and the shaking has slowed down! Cool!
3/27 – nerve tonic at 11:53 am – visibly shaking – gonna check in an hour and see if my hand is still!
– definitely helped but didn’t completely stop, don’t feel as jittery though!
– Took a 2nd nerve tonic at 4:04 pm – we’ll see!
– no kidding! 7:33 pm- I can hold my hand still !
Anxiety & Doctor Appointments
06 Dec 2011 2 Comments
in Anxiety / Panic Attacks Tags: anxiety, exposure therapy, wellbutrin
Doctor Appointments are hard for me. Being trapped in the little room is something I hate! The annual gyne exam is the worst.
- I had my regular checkup. Ativan helped. I had a new physician’s assistant and she was nice but very inquisitive. Made me uncomfortable. And now since I’m 40 I’m supposed to go have a mammogram. Ummm – we’ll see. It’s scheduled for some time in January. And they gave me a form to go have my bloodwork done – checking blood sugar, cholesterol etc. Actually forgot all about that until right now. No idea when I’ll get to that.
- I also had an eye doctor appointment, then the next week Kids2 & 3 had one. Two weeks in a row. Great exposure therapy, don’t ya think? And we will probably be going back next week to pick up contacts, glasses etc. I want to say “It was fine!” so very badly, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t too bad though.
- Kids had an appointment to get flu shots. We went there directly after their eye appointment. Another little room to sit in and wait. Thankfully it was a quick visit!
Just another post about baseball games and panic attacks :)
06 Jul 2011 1 Comment
in Anxiety / Panic Attacks, Take That Panic Attacks! Tags: anxiety, panic attacks, Thank You Lord, wellbutrin
We went to a 4th of July family picnic this weekend. Hubby & Kid3 missed it because of a baseball tournament. They had planned to come to the picnic and miss a game until they learned that the team would have 3 games that day. Missing one game they could stand, 3 put them over their limit. :)
Yes, 3 games in one day in 90 degree weather. And these are 8 year olds. That is just insane. Turned out they played 5 games in 2 days and were out. Thank heavens.
So on Saturday my girls & I went to the family picnic. We went with my sister and her 2 kids. It’s about a 3 hour drive. We were in the car longer than we were there. That’s always how it is. Anyway, while I was in the shower this morning I thought of this and wanted to type it out…..
I did good at the picnic!
Usually I stress a lot about these events. And I was still a bit nervous this time, but not nearly as bad. So yea, this is another panic attack defeating success story. Usually, I would have taken an ativan before we left and then more ativan when we were almost there. And perhaps even more if I was going to be driving in a lot of traffic on the way home. Sorry, but that has been the only way I could deal with it in the past.
This time? I did take an ativan that morning before we left. But then that is the only one the whole stinking day! And that is amazing. I had it with me. I made sure of that before we left the house that morning. But then I forgot! That is a wow. Because before I depended on them so much, I planned my life around it so much!
I did drive part of the way home. Honestly, when my sister asked me to drive, I thought about the fact that I hadn’t taken it, that I wasn’t prepared… but it wasn’t a horrifying thought like it used to be. In the past I would have planned ahead and taken one just in case. And if I had forgotten or something, I would have been freaking out on the inside about driving in that traffic beside that wall! You know what I am talking about – in construction zones on the big highways, they have the cement walls on the left side on a 2 lane highway. And you drive in that lane so you don’t get run over in the right lane by the traffic merging onto the road. I HATE that wall. But I did it. And it was OK. (The air conditioning blasting in my face helped! lol)
I know that I have been dealing with these events better because of wellbutrin. I know I have said it before.
I am just so psyched about it!
I know that I am not cured. I do still have my moments. And my anxiety levels obviously still vary and depend on a lot of factors. But I feel like it has given back a part of me. When I think about it, there are a lot of upcoming events that I am nervous about facing. That hasn’t changed. But I have not felt crippled by my anxiety for a while now. Last time I posted about how confident I was feeling about beating the panic monster, I got knocked down quick. I am not naive. I know I still have a fight ahead of me. But I have found one more tool to use in that fight. Thank you Lord!
Go Away Anxiety, I am Enjoying My Dinner!
29 Jun 2011 2 Comments
in Take That Panic Attacks! Tags: anxiety, panic attacks, Thank You Lord, wellbutrin
We have been so busy lately with all sorts of summer fun – mainly baseball – but other things too. Crossroads program, swimming, raspberry picking with my Dad, amusement park trips with friends, riding 4-wheelers…. great summer stuff.
And I have mentioned that I think Wellbutrin is really helping me to not obsess and worry about potential panic attack – inducing situations.
This past weekend we went to a retirement party for hubby’s uncle in a large banquet room - long tables covered in white paper, metal folding chairs all lined up, people, people everywhere…. We got there after the rest of hubby’s family because we were coming after a ball game. They saved us seats.
We sat right in the middle of it all.
Middle table, and our seats were in the middle of that middle table. Yes, we were smack dab right in the middle of the whole crowded room.
There really was no choice. I can tell you that before, I would not have been able to sit there. And really, back up more… I would not have gone. I would have faked sick or said I had to work or found some reason not to go. But we went, and on the way there I was thinking about the fact that I had not freaked out about this upcoming event at all and here we go. I wondered if I should start freaking out then. lol But I didn’t. I smiled as we rode along in the car together. Yes, that’s another thing – hubby and I have been going more places together lately – as in sharing the same vehicle instead of just meeting places. It feels more like we are a family unit. I like it.
And the long food line…. Ha. Yes, we were called up by table to hit the buffet line. Big long line of people gabbing, waiting their turn. Again, it was OK.
I am proud of myself. Ativan still helped me that day. I took it as a precaution I guess. That doesn’t matter to me. This is progress baby! Even with the ativan I usually have a LOT more trouble than I did that day. Just a few “what if” moments. Nothing big. I am amazed at how much I was able to just relax and enjoy myself. It was wonderful. Truly wonderful.
Take that Panic Attacks!
Thank you Lord!
Wellbutrin Gets an A+ Today
23 Jun 2011 3 Comments
in Anxiety / Panic Attacks, Take That Panic Attacks! Tags: anxiety, panic attacks, wellbutrin
Know what I did today?
I went to Wal-Mart without taking ativan first. This is a big accomplishment in my life. Yes, I know that sounds pretty sad.
I had a big list, it was crowded, and I had to stand in line for a while. I did it.
I did not once get light-headed or weak-kneed. I thought about whether that was going to happen a few times. And usually me just worrying about it triggers a little anxiety. But today, I thought “No. I am good.” And I took the time to stop and look around the store at all the people rushing everywhere.
I know that there has never been a logical reason for me to panic in a store. Panic attacks are not logical. But today, I feel like I faced it head on, with no fear. I could see it all objectively. This is what I was praying that wellbutrin would help me with. I wanted to stop obsessing about the panic attacks because that has become worse than the actual situations that cause the panic attacks!
Wellbutrin gets an A+ today. Or maybe I get an A+. Let’s just call it teamwork :)
I Think Wellbutrin Makes Me Grumpy
21 Jun 2011 1 Comment
in Anxiety / Panic Attacks Tags: anxiety, panic attacks, wellbutrin
I think maybe Wellbutrin is making me grumpy. I know there is an adjustment period with all these types of mediction. I want this one to be over with. Ugh.
I have only taken two per day twice so far. Every time I do I feel so icky. I feel jittery and kinda “on edge”. I don’t know if Wellbutrin will work if I do not get up to that dosage. I know that I am supposed to take it twice a day and its only supposed to work after getting built up in your system for a few weeks.
I think I am different. (I know I am different. LOL) But I mean that I think it affects me much more quickly. I am tempted to quit tryign to take 2/day and just be happy with the one a day dose but if it would be more helpful to me if I could get up to the 2/day dose, then I feel like I should try that. Ugh. Headaches, nerves….. I know I am rambling here. Just trying to figure this out.
Crowded Picnic Tables
19 Jun 2011 1 Comment
in Anxiety / Panic Attacks, Take That Panic Attacks! Tags: anxiety, panic attacks, Thank You Lord, wellbutrin
I should be sleeping. I planned to go to bed a bit early and catch up from our busy busy weekend. Instead I am shopping on ebay for my daughter. Looking for bras. Yep. She’s 13. She will be thrilled I told you. Oh, that’s right – she’ll never know :)
Anyway…. I just realized that today I sat at a crowded picnic table with all the in-laws and didn’t even mind. I did not take an ativan today either. And it was hot too. Ugh. I was smooshed between kid1 and my s-i-l. Very crowded cuz more people came than mom-in-law was expecting. 3 picnic tables full and some people sitting in the grass.
Anyway, I did think about it after I sat down and I thought uh-oh. But that was it. I was waiting to feel all weird and anxious about it but I never did. Praise God! This is another ‘Take that Panic Attacks’ post I guess. Yay! I am going to start a new blog category just for these! Ha.
Thank you Lord for wellbutrin? :)
Dad-in-law is having back surgery tomorrow so we will be visiting the hospital a few times this week. Guess that will be another test. In-laws are a big, very close family. We will all be crowded into one half of those hospital rooms… you know the kind where you pull the curtain and try not to disturb the roommate. Ugh.
Take that Panic Attacks!
10 Jun 2011 1 Comment
in Anxiety / Panic Attacks, Take That Panic Attacks! Tags: anxiety, panic attacks, Thank You Lord, wellbutrin
So tomorrow morning – bright and early, we are going to a big track meet. The first one ever for this family. Kid2 is our runner. She is awesome :)
I’m sure she’ll do great. I am laying here in bed, not fretting. Not fretting at all. Perhaps this wellbutrin works after all :)
Normally before an event like this I would probably be freaking out on the inside. Oh, I do good at keeping up appearances, but my nerves would be going crazy. And here I am laying in bed, calm. I just realized this and I feel so happy about it! I am prepared. The car is packed. The list of items to gather in the morning is on the kitchen counter. My alarm is set. Peace. Ahhh. I want more of this in my life. Thank you Lord!
Did I mention there are huge bleachers at the track meet? Ha! Just wanted to point that out. Maybe I’ll have trouble tomorrow. I don’t know. I’m not having trouble now, anticipating all the worst things that could happen. And that is progress. Big grin on my face right now.
Take that Panic Attacks!
Sweet Dreams.
Wellbutrin… Trying to Prevent Anxiety & Panic Attacks
05 Jun 2011 1 Comment
in Anxiety / Panic Attacks Tags: anxiety, panic attacks, wellbutrin
I have decided to try wellbutrin again. I rambled about this in another recent post….
Here is a summary of this experience so far…
Tuesday, 5/31/11
My doctor agreed it might be helpful & I should try it. I picked up the prescription this morning. I was surprised that the pharmacy had the brand, not generic there for me. Last time I was on it, I requested the brand because I swear the generic made me SO sick. I had to argue with my doctor last time about it. I was gonna let it go and try generic this time. Now I don’t have to. It is more expensive than generic of course, so I’ll have to check on the mail order prescription service again. It was cheaper that way last time. Here we go…
“Please Lord help me to adjust to this medication quickly without too many yucky side effects. And please let this medicine be what I need and NOT give me more anxiety and panic attacks. Please use this medicine to give me what I so want – peace from obsessing over panic attacks. And the energy and motivation to live my life better. Amen.”
Wellbutrin SR 150 mg
Directions: Take one tablet twice a day, 8 hours apart.
(I remember that I should not take them near bedtime or I will not be able to sleep) And I know that you have to work yourself up to that does. Take one a day for 4 days, then take 2 a day. I’ll probably take one a day for a good week before I increase the dose to twice a day. I am always more sensitive to medicine than most people.
Day1 – Wednesday, 6/1/11
First Dose: 10:30 am
At 1:30 pm, I felt very sick to my stomach and wanted to go lay down. But I didn’t. Ugh – is it making me sick already?!
Day2 – Thursday, 6/2/11
2nd dose – 9:45 am
1:11pm – Wow – wondering if it is kicking in already? Too good to be true probably. Didn’t feel sick today. Actually hung laundry up outside instead of being lazy and throwing it in the dryer. AND I walked out to greet the kids getting off the bus – usually I sit on the porch and wait and try to get myself motivated for the evening chaos….
AND – we planted the garden tonight and I didn’t hate having to do it. It was fun. AND then I took the kids swimming and didn’t just sit there like a bump on a log. I actually walked around the pool area & helped with the solar cover and everything! These things sound so minor typed out…. and it’s hard to believe I wasn’t already doing these things….
Wondering if I should take one tomorrow – don’t want to go too fast cuz I really don’t want to get ill while starting these… should I skip a day?
Day3 – Friday, 6/3/11
3rd dose – 10:30 am
Wouldn’t it be great if just one a day – instead of 2 a day was all I’d really need to take? I feel normal again. Is it all in my head? I think it is too soon to tell. I don’t think it is really supposed to even make a difference until it is in your system for a few weeks. Hmmm… I swear I truly have more energy already. And it’s not like a “high”, it’s like I am not hating to do the things I have to do. I just do them. That is an improvement :)
3:07 pm – just got back from the pool. And instead of just sitting up under the pavilion, I sat poolside and actually watched them and talked to them. Yes, I usually watch them & talk to them – but I was more PRESENT. :)
AND tonight we watered the garden. Hubby wasn’t home and it really needed done. Before, I would not have even realized it needed done. Or looked. Or cared. Seriously. I would have been irritated by it, and not done it and just left it up to him. AND I have been procrastinating forever on trimming the lilac bush and cleaning out the flower beds. Kids1 & 3 helped and we made a lot of progress.
Day4 – Saturday, 6/4/11
Headache this am – not too bad, but there. And the hand shaking has begun. I noticed it when I put my foundation on my makeup sponge. Didn’t really feel it so it surprised me when I saw it. Son had a ballgame at 10am. Was planning to take it when we got home. Didn’t want to take it early since I had the headache. Then I forgot about it completely. Until about 2:30. So I”m just skipping it today. I know if I take it too late in the day I might not be able to sleep tonight.
Motivation is still good today! We cleaned both cars and even washed the van. Then worked a bit more on the flower beds. And I made HOMEMADE mac ‘n’ cheese. I know typing this out loud looks like I must be pathetic. Lately I just have not been motivated AT ALL for these kinds of things. Mac n cheese – they’d get the box kind or something else. The flower beds etc – I would feel guilty cuz I knew it needed done, but I would put it off another day….
I really hope this feeling lasts!
This week has been pretty anxiety free. Not a lot going on, and not a lot of places we need to go. So there is really no way to tell yet if it will make a difference. Here’s hoping.
More on my Anxiety Ridden Week
27 May 2011 2 Comments
in Anxiety / Panic Attacks Tags: anxiety, panic attacks, school, Thank You Lord, wellbutrin
The awards assemblies were Wednesday and Thursday. The band concert was Wednesday evening. The awards at the high school today are for students only, parents are not invited. Hallelujah.
I made it through. Sorry for the drama. I’m apologizing to me. I can do better.
It was hard at some points, it was easy at some points. This year was worse than last which makes me mad. I went to the award assemblies alone. Hubby was sleeping. Usually grandparents come, but Grandma is having a lot of pain in her legs and is limping around, so they stayed home. Alone was fine, I didn’t need to explain my seating choices to anyone. Or what I am writing in my notebook. I had my distractions. I had my camera. I had my notebook. Thank the Lord that on Thursday they turned on one of the big fans in the cafeteria. The band concert was the hottest event of them all. No air moving through that place at all, but I think I was most peaceful there. I did not go to this alone. Hubby and I did divide and conquer though, so he and kid3 were at baseball. Kid2, her bff and I went to the concert. Kid1 did great and sweat under those hot stage lights even more than we did in the audience. I know the school cannot afford air conditioners but geesh.
My worst day this whole week was Monday. Go figure. The anticipation of these events hit me so much harder than the actual events did! That is a big problem for me! It is often like that. I totally psych myself out worrying about the “what ifs”. And often there aren’t any particular “what ifs” in my mind, just dread about the upcoming events. I don’t know what to do about it. But I am sick of it.
Monday I freaked out. I really did. It was exhausting. Tuesday I was shaky and felt like I’d been through the wringer. Just completely wiped out. I really started to wonder if I was getting sick. I wasn’t, I was just mentally drained. I am angry about this because I have been doing so well and up until this week had the attitude of “Bring it on!”. But it beat me.
I am considering going back on wellbutrin. I do not want to run to medication. I want to run away from it but actually, but it is so hard! This week was so hard! I have been off of wellbutrin for approx 2 years I think? I was taking it when I had my first ever panic attack. At the time I was convinced that it caused it. I went off & on it twice since then, trying to decide if it was helping me or making it worse. There are many other factors that I can blame my first panic attack on. Most likely it was a combination of many things. Someday perhaps I’ll gab about that. I am a regular lurker on a few anxiety forums…. yesterday I found a comment from someone that helped…….
“The wellbutrin gets rid of the obsessive thoughts I have about my anxiety and panic attacks and I take the ativan when I am having an actual panic attack..”
That is EXACTLY what I need. Exactly.
Wellbutrin is an antidepressant, not an anti-anxiety medication. It helped me in many ways though and I have been wanting to give it another try. However, I know that is also kinda increases your energy etc and that CAN increase anxiety. So I have debated this repeatedly. I know that Paxil worked best but I refuse. Paxil made me fat. I will not go back there. Wellbutrin MIGHT work for me again. If I could stop the obsessing in anticipation of things I would definitely enjoy my life more.
It’s hard to try again because there is a risk of increased anxiety. And the beginning side effects are yucky. I remember feeling nauseous a lot at first. Until it gets in your system and your body adjusts. Yuk. And it made my hands shake. I was on the lowest dose and it still made me shake. My doc told me to skip a pill occasionally when the shaking got too bad. That did help… I want to try it but I’m being kinda chicken I guess. Plus I really don’t want to depend on drugs to be normal! On the plus side though, I remember being more motivated and focused when I was taking wellbutrin. I remember noticing the cobwebs in the kitchen corner after I started taking wellbutrin. Ha! I had never noticed them before. It’s like I was more present. Know what I mean? And yes, I did lose weight on wellbutrin too. That was a nice plus…
So I guess I’ll look and see how soon my next Dr appt is and talk to her about it then. We’ll see.
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