He’s an intense guy.

Hubby has a temper. He gets all worked up about little things. He’s an intense guy.

I have always said he runs hot & cold. There’s no warm contentment with him. Hot or cold is what you get. I will admit that this has changed a little since I first met him.  But not a lot.  He blows things way out of proportion.

What made me think about this is that I was having a conversation with Kid3.  He wanted to use a gift tag for his class Christmas gift.  He chose one that was very small.  Too small.  We were talking about it, I suggested getting a larger one.  He like the picture on the one he had.  I said well ok, go ahead and try to write your name on there.  Hubby entered the room as Kid3 was getting discouraged because it was too small of course.  He barked something about it being so small that it was ridiculous.  Why is he using that?  Kid3 says Mom said to!  (Ha! He threw me under the bus!)  Before I can even comment, hubby is going off about how stupid it is to even make them that small, and why would I buy something like that?  Why do we even have them?  That’s ridiculous! Etc.  I mean very loudly.  Seriously, I’m being attacked about a gift tag?!  The man seems insane sometimes.  I mean is it really worth getting all worked up about!?!?  And making your blood boil!?!?  He’s gonna give himself a heart attack!

The gift tags probably came as a “free” gift in the mail from someone seeking donations.  I really don’t know.  I just added them to our gift wrapping bag I guess.  Not the point.

I don’t know how to help him.  I wish he wanted to help himself.  He rejects any kind of instruction/constructive criticism etc.  Not just if I try to tell him something.  From anybody.  There are very few people my hubby admires in this world.  I am trying to think of someone right now.  Probably his Dad, but they are a lot alike and they clash too of course.  Still trying to think of someone.  Someone that could help him – that he would not just get ticked off at.  I keep praying that God will put someone in his path that will be a good, positive influence on him.  He works hard at a dirty job with a lot of tough guys.  There is a lot of swearing and rough-housing, and basic guy stuff.  Every once in a while hubby will tell me about someone he meets that sounds like they may be the person I have been praying for!  Then nothing.

So I will pray again.

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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