Resisting the Codependent Label

(Reading ‘Codependent No More’….)

I have had many labels in my life.

Daughter, Sister, Friend, Student, Employee, Wife, Mom, Aunt, SAHM (Stay At Home Mom), now WAHM (Work At Home Mom)

ACoA (Adult Child of an Alcoholic)

Now Codependent.

I am resisting the codependent label.  I don’t like it.  I do believe it is true.  But I don’t like it.

Why?  Because I just thought I was nice.  I just thought I had a big heart.  I thought I was just more empathetic than most people.  I believe in the good in everyone.  I like to look for the positive in situations and not focus on the negative.  I believe just about everything has a silver lining.  And everyone deserves a second chance.

I was proud of my kindness and my big heart.

So I’m not just nice?  Try these labels : Doormat, Pushover.

I don’t like that.  Kindness is a quality I value.  I think that is one of the main problems I have with hubby.  Kindness ranks at the top in qualities I want my spouse to have.  My husband can be kind.  Sure.  But often he is not.  He’s often rude.  I believe people should be kind even when they don’t feel like it.  He does not.  I believe you should be kind to others even when they are not kind to you. (Well, most of the time ;)  He believes in ‘get them before they get you’.  When I see a man smiling and being nice  –  that’s what gets me – that’s attractive.  Some guys seem to always be smiling.  I crave that.  My hubby seems to always be frowning.  I hate that.

(Interesting to note: I broke up with an awesome “nice guy” in high school.  He was just too nice to me.  It felt so sappy and made me uncomfortable.  I liked the tough guy that my hubby was.  Now, I would prefer that nice guy!  I think I just confirmed that I’m codependent.  ha!  Well at least that I used to REALLY be. :)

Here’s the thing.  I AM nice.  I am also codependent.  Hopefully I am more nice than codependent.

I am not as codependent as I used to be.  Pretty sure about that.  Like I said before, I have already self-improved myself some :)

Guess I’ll find out as I read through this book that I should have just thrown at my sister.

Anyone sick of the word codependent yet?  I am.


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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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