Are You Codependent?

In case you are wondering if YOU are codependent…..

This information is listed many places on the web.
I got the list below from Wikipedia.

Codependents Anonymous can be found at www.coda.org

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Codependents Anonymous offers these patterns and characteristics as a tool to aid in self-evaluation.

Denial patterns:

* I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
* I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.
* I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others.  Not completely.  But Yes.

Low self-esteem patterns:

* I have difficulty making decisions.
* I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never “good enough.”
* I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
* I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
* I value others’ approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own.
* I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.

Compliance patterns:

* I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others’ anger.
* I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
* I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
* I value others’ opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
* I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
* I accept sex when I want love.

Control patterns:

* I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
* I attempt to convince others of what they “should” think and how they “truly” feel.
* I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
* I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.
* I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.
* I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
* I have to be “needed” in order to have a relationship with others.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trish
    Jan 12, 2011 @ 11:51:28

    Guess I fall into the codependent category too. Most of the definitions fit me, and I too prefer to think of myself more as a kind, caring, and helpful person.
    Let me know what we are supposed to do about it….

    Reply

  2. toughwords
    Jan 13, 2011 @ 09:45:20

    Reply

  3. Lisa
    Jan 20, 2011 @ 08:35:59

    Sadly I also fit the definition. Wow! When I think back to all the things I have put up with during all the years (23) with my husband if I were anything else I would not be commenting here that’s for sure.

    Reply

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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