My Ta-Da List!

Todays’ schedule:

4:00 am – be rudely waken by smoke alarms even though there was no fire.  Cannot make them stop so I disconnect them all and take them down from the ceiling.

5:55 am – phone call from loving relative to tell us kids have a 2 hour delay.  Realize we have no heat.  Push reset button on furnace and do the few things hubby has taught me.  They don’t work.  Text hubby to tell him the good news.

6:30 am – Hubby calls for more info.  Makes plans to get supplies on his way home from work.  Kid3 is awake and cold and crawls in bed with me and the heating blanket.

7:35 am – get up and make tea in the coffee pot, heat oven and cook some  tator tots for breakfast.  I did this just because I wanted to cook something and get some heat in the kitchen.

7:45 – Hubby gets home and saves the day with an additive for the fuel and does all sorts of unknown things to the furnace and has it running again in 30 minutes.  Yay hubby.

8:00 – Kids eat breakfast and finish watching the football game we DVR’d the night before.  They LOVED having tator tots and warm tea with yummy french vanilla creamer for breakfast :)  They almost forgot to be cold.  54 degrees in the house at the time.

9:10 am – drive Kid1 out to the bus.

9:30 am – Hubby turns on the heating blanket and goes to bed.

10:00 am – Drive Kids 2 & 3 out to the bus.

10:20 am – Ahhhhh.  Take a break.  Yea, right.  It’s already after 10:00!  Start laundry and run dishwasher.  Get some hot tea and a bagel and head to my office.  Get to work!  But first scheduling the week, making dr appts, etc.  Too many phone calls taking too long.  Mondays are always like this.  Its like catch up day.

Noon – Heat up some leftovers.  Get a bit overwhelmed by the day and how little progress I’m making.  Decided to be even less productive and write a post to vent about my anxiety.  This takes time away from my paid work.  But I have decided that it is important to my health and happiness to deal with this crap instead of pretending it doesn’t exist.  So I vented.  A lot.

2:00 pm – Take 1/4 an ativan and watch an episode of 19 Kids & Counting.  Hoping to be able to relax and let go of some anxiety.

2:30 pm – actually focus on work for about half an hour.

3:10 pm – Meet kid1 at bus stop and drive her home.  Usually she walks – but it was like 13 degrees or something.  Discuss homework and ideas about how to write a poem around the word “acquittal”.

4:10 pm – Get kids 2 & 3 from bus and drive home.

4:30 pm – Hubby gets up.  I start supper and we help with homework.

5:00 – Eat dinner together.  Kid2 is grumpy and kinda mean – she is very nervous about the evening ahead of her and is trying to get out of it :)

5:45 pm – I leave with Kids 1 & 2 and pick up Kid2’s BFF.

5:55 pm – Drop Kid2 and BFF off at basketball practice.

6:00 pm – Kid 1 & I go to club meeting.

6:20 pm – Hubby takes Kid3 to his basketball game.

7:00 pm – Kid 1, me, and Kid1’s BFF leave meeting and hurry over to see last 10 minutes of Kid3’s basketball game.

7:20 pm – We all go to high school where Kid2 is having basketball practice and is going to play at half time of the Varsity game tonight.  Hubby sees how crowded it is and bails.  Thanks hubby.  He takes kid3 home with him.  So yes, I go.  Me – the one with the panic attacks and mega-fear of sitting in crowded bleachers. Kid1 and her BFF come too – they are SO excited to be there and go join their friends.  I find Kid2’s BFF’s mom and sit with her.  We thought Kid2 was supposed to play at half time of the earlier Jr Hi game, but no, this is happening at half time of the varsity game – which is just now beginning….. LOL…. glad we didn’t miss it.  Not glad that this night just got longer.  (took a whole ativan about an hour before this when I heard the wonderful news.)

7:30 pm – Game begins.  Very crowded,  Very enthusiastic crowd.  Very fun actually.  I start to feel hot.  Yikes.  Need to shift gears a minute and stop it before it starts cuz am doing great otherwise.  Leave auditorium and go call my BFF :)  She laughs hysterically at my night and swears she would join me if only she wasn’t baby-sitting.  Wasted some time on the phone and go back into game.

8:15 pm – Half time finally arrives.  Kid2 does AWESOME.   It’s over in like 3 minutes.  ha.  She joins me in the bleachers.  We watch until the end of the 3rd quarter and even though no one else wants to, we leave.

8:30 pm – Drop off Kid1’s BFF and go home!  Ugh.

9:00 pm – Kids 2 & 3 are showered and (almost) in bed.  I clean up the kitchen and pack hubby a lunch

9:45 – Kid 1 finishes her homework and showers and is off to bed.

9:50 pm – Hubby leaves for work.

10:00 pm – I sat down here and felt the need to type up all we have accomplished today.  You know how some people call their TO DO list their Ta-Da List.  Like Ta-Da!  Look what I got done today.  I needed a Ta-Da list today.

Oh – and bleachers, panic attack….?  Nope.  Felt a little uneasy a time or two.  Got out my camera for some wonderful distraction and I made it.  Not too hard at all actually.  Yea, I was medicated.  Hey – you gotta do what ya gotta do.  Next time will be easier – and I’ll only take 1/2 an ativan.  And I’ll work my way out of it that way.  Yay me.

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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