Wham Bam

Wham Bam Thank You Maam

Yea, that’s what this post is about.

My definition:  A quickie.
Urban Dictionary’s definition:  slang for a quickie or a really fast-paced sex with someone you barely know or do know but don’t care about. wham bam thank you maam just means that you bang her and go.

Well, here we are talking about a married quickie.

A long time ago when our lives were centered around babies –  baby diapers, baby feedings, baby puke, just babies – we started saying that.   You are so tired you can’t see straight.  You just got the last one to sleep and you know the youngest one is going to be awake in 3 hours to suck the life out of you yet again.  (AKA breastfeeding).  That was our jargon for “Yea, neither one of us feels like it so let’s just get it over with cuz we know we’ll both be happy we did.”  Otherwise know as a quickie.   All he had to say was “Thank you maam”.  It was something we could say in front of babies and they would often repeat I might add!  Then I started saying “Thank you sir”.  It was our code :)

Haven’t used that code in a while.

So today I said “Thank you sir.”
He said “What?”
I said “Wham bam thank you sir.”
He said “Nice.” sarcastically.
I said “Ok, then Let’s make love.” sarcastically.

And we both cracked up.  How is it that you can be married for  SO long and feel SO uncomfortable saying something like that?  But it just sounded ridiculous.  Like hello, this is the real world and that is hilarious.

I said “You used to say that to me.”
He said “Yea, I had to.”

Now of course he didn’t “have to”.  But remember when you were new in love and dating and your feelings are like a “high”…. remember that?  You stare into each others eyes and see your future.  You long for them and whisper sweet nothings like “I want to make love to you.”  And it isn’t hilarious at all.  It’s the most important thing in your world at that moment.  You have never been more serious, or felt anything like that before.  It means everything to you.  You are so madly in love that you are blinded by it.  You are also on your best behavior, trying to win the other person over.  You will do anything to be able to spend the rest of your life with them.  So, you get married and build a home together and have babies.  And then you wake up one morning, with baby puke crusted in your hair that you haven’t washed in 3 days.

And quickies become your reality.  And that is fine because now your world involves more than just the stars you saw in his eyes.

Even after a lot of pain and broken dreams, I am still in love with that man.  But somehow looking into his eyes and hoping to find my dream makes me laugh.  Now I know that there is so much more to it than that.  It is hard work.  And it is often painful.  But at least we can laugh about it together.

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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