Teen Drama – Boyfriends, Flirts, Bullies & Sexting

Wow – what a title.  Unfortunately that is what kid1’s world has included lately.  Oh, the things they learn in high school!

Kid1 is in 7th grade.  We are a small town, our high school is grades 7-12.  What a very icky first year of high school.

The girls in her class are causing so much drama!  Ugh

Luckily Kid1 has not gone completely boy crazy yet.  She is immature.  Sometimes that drives me completely nuts.  Now though, I am thankful for it.  :)

There are a group of 5 girls, kid1 included, that have been friends forever.  This year they have turned on each other like dogs.  Seriously.  It’s all over boys!

One girl has had like 6 different boyfriends this year.  It’s ridiculous.  And of course I know about this because she updates her facebook status constantly.  As much as facebook annoys me because of the drama I see going on there, it certainly is one way to keep up with what is going on in these kids lives, which means I get to understand what is going on in my daughter’s life a little more too.  Problem here is that this girl’s mom has no idea how her daughter is.  I seriously think she still looks at her like she is 5 and believes she’s still a little angel.  That is a problem.  This little girl is a liar,  I have seen her in action.

Another girl, for whatever reason, has become the worst flirt ever and seems to target any boy one of her “friends” likes.  There has even been sexting!  Are you kidding me?!?!  These girls are 13!

Sexting :the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones.

Another girl, kid1’s closest friend (up until this year), is like the most popular girl in jr high right now.  She is sweet, fun, kind….  but o so cliquey.  That got her in trouble.  So while she is not actively participating in bashing the flirty girl, she kinda goes along with it and has become bffs with the girl with all the boyfriends.

Kid1 has managed to remain pretty neutral through it all, although recently she has been hanging out with the flirty one more & more and has been defending her, saying she has done nothing wrong and the other girls are just over-reacting and being mean.  I asked her, what about the cell phone pics?  She said they weren’t that bad.  I asked her if she saw them, she said no, but flirty girl told her that they weren’t that bad.

I happen to know they were pretty bad cuz flirty girls mom is a friend and she freaked out when she found out all this happened and flirty girl lost her phone for quite a while.  (Not long enough though if you ask me.)

The last girl in the group, let’s call her abusive girl, is constantly hitting my daughter.  Grr.  Not like angrily punching her.  But like she will try to wrestle with her and she smacks her and tries to take her stuff.  I think she thinks it is fun?  I dunno.  It’s still bullying.  Like shes just rough-housing or something?  Anyway, kid1 has had it.  She has told this girl a gazillion times to knock it off.  In a gazillion different ways.  She has even hit her back.  I told her to knock her on her butt.  It has not stopped this girl.  Last week abusive girl actually BIT HER!  Kid1 said the girl wanted the label from he gatorade bottle and kid1 wouldn’t give it to her.  Abusive girl was hitting her etc trying to get it from her and then she bit her!

Kid1 said she had teeth marks in her arm!  I asked her where was the teacher when all this was happening?!?  It was in home ec,  Sorry but that class is a joke.  She said the teacher was there, but working on something with other kids and didn’t see.  Now, I don’t want my kids to be a tattle tale, but enough is enough!  I told her that would have been the perfect time to go to the teacher!  Just show her the bite marks in your arm!  Grr.

I think it is hard cuz kid1 considers this girl a friend.  I just don’t get it.  I really wish kid1 could resolve this herself.  I mean if I have to call the girl’s mother and say, “please tell your kid to quit hitting mine…” like they are 3 years old… all that is gonna do is make abusive girl mad at kid1.  If kid1 can make her point herself, she gains the respect of abusive girl and her peers who are also sick of abusive girl hitting them too….

I told kid1 she has to repeat again and again, DO NOT HIT ME.  And then not be nice to the girl!  Give her the silent treatment or something until this girl gets that kid1 is serious.  I think that kid1 has been telling her this, but then continues to be her friend, so she doesn’t take  her seriously.

I am thinking about emailing the home ec teacher today.  SHe is this young, fun teacher that all the kids just LOVE.  Makes me a little mad how much they just love her to bits.  That’s another story.  Ha.  But anyway, if I can get her to be on watch for this to happen, maybe she could make it stop.  Or maybe this fun, young thing of a teacher has no control in her class anyway.  Which is kinda how I think it is.  So she may not be effective at all.  I want to help kid1 with this but I don’t want to turn it into another huge deal for these kids.

2 of them actually have detention today!  Boyfriend girl and popular girl.  O my.  Parents are angry.  Flirty girl’s parent flipped out on the principal, demanding that her child quit being picked on and be given respect and this is what his punishment was.  Honestly, flirty girl needs to be in there with them.  She is the instigator.  What a mess.

I know my kid isn’t perfect either.  But she is really doing pretty good staying out of their drama!  I have told her time & time again that she needs to be careful hanging out with this flirty girl.  She will make enemies quickly.  And she better not act that way!

“You are judged by the company you keep.”

Just venting today I guess.  Truly don’t expect anyone to read & actually be able to follow all this!  Ha!

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Laura
    May 18, 2011 @ 12:22:40

    Ok, this one is going to come out of left field, but I got to thinking. If abusive girl was a boy, would her actions be considered flirty? You know the crazy way that young boys first show a girl they like them: hitting, hair pulling, teasing and all that malarkey? Do you think it is possible that abusive girl has a crush on your daughter? Just a crazy thought I had.

    Ultimately though, I feel for you. The teen years are rough and it’s so hard to walk the line between being over protective and letting them fight their own battles. Ugh. Hang in there. It sounds like you’ve got a kiddo with a good head on her shoulders. Thank God for that!! :-)

    Reply

  2. toughwords
    May 18, 2011 @ 21:58:18

    I think I may have confused you. Ha. I know I was rambling in that post! Flirty girl and abusive girl are two different girls. I know what you mean, but don’t think that is the case…. There are 11 days left of school. Almost over!

    Reply

  3. thisbrokenhearthashope
    May 19, 2011 @ 13:04:17

    Oh the drama! I remember it well. Kids can be so mean. Hopefully they’ll grow out of like the girls in my class did. By the end of high school, we were all close again. Good luck. I know it can’t be easy.

    Reply

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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