There is really no reason to yell.

I saw a commercial for Cake Boss.  The main cake baking dude (Buddy?) is yelling at a guy about making sheet cakes or something.  The guy just calmly says “There is really no reason to yell.”

I have seen the show once or twice.  So, not sure who all these people are.  But that comment stuck with me.  He was calm but he made his point.

I am going to start repeating that to hubby.  He is constantly yelling about something.  I honestly do not think hubby has any idea how terrible he sounds.  So harsh.  So mean.  So loud.  I sometimes wonder if he is going deaf and that is why he is so loud!  Seriously.  But they do annual hearing tests at work and so far so good according to them.  Of course I dunno.  His job may have different standards of what good hearing is.  They may have to pay employees for hearing loss or something – who knows…

Anyway, I am constantly saying to him.  “Quit yelling”.  Or “Be nice!”  Or something similar.  He usually just glares at me.  He has often said “I’m not yelling”.  Or he’ll tell me he’s just saying it like he means it, he’s not yelling at a kid.  I guess it’s like my stern mom voice?  But it sounds so harsh and just mean.  So I tell him to quit yelling and he then gets mad at me.  I am being a nag after all.  And honestly yea, I’m nagging him to quit yelling.  I don’t know what else to do about it.  I have to say something.  I don’t want to just sit there and act like it is ok with me.  It’s not.

So, my new response is gonna be:  “There is really no reason to yell.”

I will say it calmly and matter of factly.  Maybe, if I repeat it enough he will start to hear it in his head.  I can only hope.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Laura
    May 31, 2011 @ 14:07:21

    I like that. I might try it too. Thanks for the idea!

    Reply

  2. thisbrokenhearthashope
    May 31, 2011 @ 21:09:43

    They never think they are yelling. I was always saying “stop yelling at me” to my ex. And he would always reply “I’m not yelling.” Why are guys like that?

    Reply

  3. Laurie
    Jul 19, 2011 @ 11:07:45

    You sound like a sweet girl. I have been married to a yeller for 40 years. Take my advice and get a divorce!

    Reply

  4. toughwords
    Aug 01, 2011 @ 00:15:31

    Believe it or not, I have not yet said this to my hubby like I planned! I always think of it after the fact. I get so frustrated with him and either snap back or end up biting my tongue so hard so I don’t snap back, that I forget all about this. I think I’ll write this at the top of my to do list so I see it every day. That will help me remember!

    Reply

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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