Wellbutrin… Trying to Prevent Anxiety & Panic Attacks

I have decided to try wellbutrin again.  I rambled about this in another recent post….

Here is a summary of this experience so far…

Tuesday, 5/31/11
My doctor agreed it might be helpful & I should try it.  I picked up the prescription this morning.  I was surprised that the pharmacy had the brand, not generic there for me.  Last time I was on it, I requested the brand because I swear the generic made me SO sick.  I had to argue with my doctor last time about it.  I was gonna let it go and try generic this time.  Now I don’t have to.  It is more expensive than generic of course, so I’ll  have to check on the mail order prescription service again.  It was cheaper that way last time.  Here we go…

“Please Lord help me to adjust to this medication quickly without too many yucky side effects.  And please let this medicine be what I need and NOT give me more anxiety and panic attacks.  Please use this medicine to give me what I so want – peace from obsessing over panic attacks.  And the energy and motivation to live my life better.  Amen.”

Wellbutrin SR 150 mg
Directions: Take one tablet twice a day, 8 hours apart.
(I remember that I should not take them near bedtime or I will not be able to sleep)  And I know that you have to work yourself up to that does.  Take one a day for 4 days, then take 2 a day.  I’ll probably take one a day for a good week before I increase the dose to twice a day.  I am always more sensitive to medicine than most people.

Day1 – Wednesday, 6/1/11
First Dose: 10:30 am
At 1:30 pm, I felt very sick to my stomach and wanted to go lay down.  But I didn’t.  Ugh – is it making me sick already?!

Day2 – Thursday, 6/2/11
2nd dose – 9:45 am
1:11pm – Wow – wondering if it is kicking in already?  Too good to be true probably.  Didn’t feel sick today.  Actually hung laundry up outside instead of being lazy and throwing it in the dryer.  AND I walked out to greet the kids getting off the bus – usually I sit on the porch and wait and try to get myself motivated for the evening chaos….
AND – we planted the garden tonight and I didn’t hate having to do it.  It was fun.  AND then I took the kids swimming and didn’t just sit there like a bump on a log.  I actually walked around the pool area & helped with the solar cover and everything!  These things sound so minor typed out…. and it’s hard to believe I wasn’t already doing these things….
Wondering if I should take one tomorrow – don’t want to go too fast cuz I really don’t want to get ill while starting these…  should I skip a day?

Day3 – Friday, 6/3/11
3rd dose – 10:30 am
Wouldn’t it be great if just one a day – instead of 2 a day was all I’d really need to take?  I feel normal again.  Is it all in my head?  I think it is too soon to tell.  I don’t think it is really supposed to even make a difference until it is in your system for a few weeks.  Hmmm…  I swear I truly have more energy already.  And it’s not like a “high”, it’s like I am not hating to do the things I have to do.  I just do them.  That is an improvement :)
3:07 pm – just got back from the pool.  And instead of just sitting up under the pavilion, I sat poolside and actually watched them and talked to them.  Yes, I usually watch them & talk to them – but I was more PRESENT.  :)
AND tonight we watered the garden.  Hubby wasn’t home and it really needed done.  Before, I would not have even realized it needed done.  Or looked.  Or cared.  Seriously.  I would have been irritated by it, and not done it and just left it up to him.  AND I have been procrastinating forever on trimming the lilac bush and cleaning out the flower beds.  Kids1 & 3 helped and we made a lot of progress.

Day4 – Saturday, 6/4/11
Headache this am – not too bad, but there.  And the hand shaking has begun.  I noticed it when I put my foundation on my makeup sponge.    Didn’t really feel it so it surprised me when I saw it.  Son had a ballgame at 10am.  Was planning to take it when we got home.  Didn’t want to take it early since I had the headache.  Then I forgot about it completely. Until about 2:30.  So I”m just skipping it today.  I know if I take it too late in the day I might not be able to sleep tonight.

Motivation is still good today!  We cleaned both cars and even washed the van.  Then worked a bit more on the flower beds.  And I made HOMEMADE mac ‘n’ cheese.  I know typing this out loud looks like I must be pathetic.  Lately I just have not been motivated AT ALL for these kinds of things.  Mac n cheese – they’d get the box kind or something else.  The flower beds etc – I would feel guilty cuz I knew it needed done, but I would put it off another day….

I really hope this feeling lasts!

This week has been pretty anxiety free.  Not a lot going on, and not a lot of places we need to go.  So there is really no way to tell yet if it will make a difference.  Here’s hoping.



1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. thisbrokenhearthashope
    Jun 05, 2011 @ 15:25:13

    Fingers crossed that it’s helping! It seems to be!


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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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