I almost got caught!

So yesterday my hubby used my laptop.  I was working out on our porch and had closed my laptop and put it on the table while hubby, kids & I were talking about the day.  He picked up my laptop and opened it up to check his email and a few other things.  I about died!  I used to be pretty careful about deleting my history so that this blog would not be found.  I have kinda gotten lazy about it though.  No one else really ever uses my computer.  I was sitting next to him, trying to remain calm, waiting for him to type something that started with http://www.to…. and for it to pop up.  Oh my.

So what did I do?  I am so sneaky!  Agh!  I got on my ipod, logged in and made it private!  All while sitting right next to him on the porch!  Talk about anxiety!  Ha.  Things have been decent around here.  I did not need a big blow up!  Whew.

SO anyway, if you tried to come here yesterday, you saw the notification that this blog was now private.  That is why….

I will be more careful now.

Believe it or not though, the whole situation showed progress in our relationship.  Sounds crazy I know, seeing how I was sitting right next to him deceiving him and praying hard that I would not be caught……  (I am so horrible!)

The progress was in the form of him using my laptop.  He has not done that in probably over a year.  If our other computer was acting up or something, I would say “Use mine.”  He would say something like “No, hard to tell what I’ll find on there.”  Or he would just get this stone face expression and refuse.  Real asshole-like.  What he was implying he would find was me being unfaithful or something.  That all started around the time I first went on facebook.  He was on my computer once and saw the history, and for some reason fixated on one guys facebook page I went on.  Never mind that there was a whole list of people’s pages in my history.  He picked out one guy and was convinced I was having an affair with him.  He had given me the silent but angry treatment for about a week before he finally told me he knew I was cheating on him with this guy and that he would fight for our kids….. Huh?  That was in the days of psycho hubby.  Seriously, the guy was a little brother of a high school friend.  I barely know him and was not interested.  Just nosy I guess.  Isn’t that what facebook is all about?  That was the first time I had ever been on it and I had stayed up way late that night just checking it all out.  So yes, strange progress.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Laura
    Aug 01, 2011 @ 13:51:10

    I can relate. I tend to do my blogging during breaks at work and never from home. I am so paranoid that my husband might find it. Even though I delete the history. Silly, I know, but If he found it he would rage for days, I’m certain. I don’t want to have to ever deal with that.

    A funny aside – one time I was telling my husband a story about something funny/frustrating that happened to me and he even said to me: “You should start a blog. I bet you’d have a lot of interesting stories to tell.” What the heck!?! LOL!!

    Reply

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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