The Best Marriage Advice EVER – From the Duggars!

I love the Duggars.

Sorry, but I really do!

Wouldn’t it be great to be a Duggar daughter?  They have learned so much from their parents and have such a great example of how a healthy marriage relationship should be.   They are conservative and wonderful.  More conservative than I care to be, but to each his own.  The Duggars  believe that the man should be the head of the household.  But Michelle Duggar is no doormat!  Did you see that episode where they were discussing their new book.  I LOVED seeing her be so strong and determined and it being OK!  I loved how JimBob handled it and knew he was just not gonna win that one!

They have such respect for one another.  It’s beautiful.  However you may feel about a family having a gazillion kids…. you have to admit that they have a good marriage.

I love to watch how they interact with each other.  (I think she might actually get annoyed at how often he wants a kiss though.  I swear I can see it in her face!  She’ll be mid-sentence and he leans in for a kiss… )

On a recent episode, the girls held a dating seminar at their house.  It probably wasn’t called a dating seminar actually since they don’t date…  I don’t know what they called it.  Not the point.  One of the girls said that if a guy does not respect his  mother and father then he will not respect his wife!

Light bulb moment!  I wish someone had pointed that out to me when I was a teenager!  Yea, it seems like common sense now as I look back.  But at the time I didn’t see it.  I was often surprised at the way hubby spoke to his mom.  But he never talked to me that way.  (17 years later, yea – he does now!)

It makes me so very mad when he speaks rudely to him mom.   And now what is he teaching my son?!?!  That it’s OK to treat your mom that way?  I feel like so much of the talking & explaining I do with my son is just to counteract hubby’s behavior.   And his whole family are yellers.  They are loud and in each other’s business and love each other like crazy.  It was really weird to get used to.  They are a lot closer than my family.  That is still true.   We are definitely more respectful in my family though.  Hmmm.   Why can’t a family be both of those things?  That is what I want!

I just wish I had a better example of a good marriage when I was growing up.  I wish someone had taken the time and helped me figure out who the right person was for me.  I wish someone would have pointed these kinds of things out to me.  I know that as a teenager I may not have listened anyway.  But who knows.  I wish I had been taught these tidbits of information.  In my home, the goal was just “don’t tick dad off”.  There were no loving conversations about what to look for in a mate.  There was just turmoil.  There was a fine example of what I DIDN’T want in my marriage.  Alcoholism.  At least I got that part right.

Why is this the best marriage tip ever?  Because if two people respect each other they will be able work things out.  They will compromise.  They will listen to each other.  They will hear each other.  How can a marriage work without respect?  It can’t, right?

So kids remember –

If a guy does not respect his mother and father then he will not respect his wife!

I have already told my girls this.  Several times.  I will repeat it to them often for the next few years.  Hopefully it will sink in.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Laura
    Aug 11, 2011 @ 17:20:06

    That advice is so 100% right on that I am embarrassed that I failed to follow it in my own life. It is so obvious after the fact, but it’s too late now.

    I will admit, the Duggars are a guilty pleasure of mine. I catch the show every once in a while.

    Did you ever notice that none of them, particularly Michelle and Jim Bob, ever says an unkind word about anyone? (I wish my home life was like that.) There was an episode that sticks out in my memory because of this. I think it was a behind the scenes show and the crew was poking good natured fun at Jim Bob’s use of hairspray. They brought it up in an interview with Michelle and instead of laughing with them she said something supportive of Jim Bob and that hair of his *shudder*. It would’ve been so easy for her to be in on the joke (and I think in her heart she probably was) but no disparaging words about her husband left her lips. That is just one small example, but it stuck with me.

    These people fascinate me, and as much as I thought I would dislike them, and as much as I fundamentally disagree with them on so many levels, I just can’t help but like them.


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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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