I am proud of him.

Him is my hubby.   Yep.

I have written before about how important meal times are to him.
I don’t get it.  But I accept it.

Last night I had to work the concession booth at the football game.   Hubby has known this for weeks.   There were leftovers in the fridge and I thawed out some burritos.  All they had to do was put the burritos in the oven and nuke some leftovers.  Ta Da!  Supper.

Before he went to sleep that morning this was our conversation.
Me:  “I got some burritos out of the freezer for supper.”
Him:  “They go in the oven, right?”
Me:  “Yep.”

Hubby was asleep when I left.  He planned to be up by the time they all got home from school.  Apparently that didn’t happen.

The kids took this as an opportunity to lay around the living room and watch tv with various snacks.  They were probably thrilled to be able to watch tv before homework was even done.   And unsupervised snacking?  They were loving it.

I was gone about 2 hours.  When I got home I asked if they had saved me a burrito – I was hungry.   Ha.  I heard all about it then.  Hubby was mad.  Kid1 should have made dinner.  Before I left I should have given her complete instructions about how & when to make dinner.  It was late now and no one has had a decent meal.  Blah, blah, blah.  Never mind that they were all happily stuffed full of marshmallows and chips.  lol

The burritos had just been put in the oven and hubby huffed away to read the paper.  I sat there a while thinking about how he could possibly be mad at me about this.  I was sad that something like this could make him so mad.  It felt like 10 steps backwards.  Kid1 was up in her room.  I went up to see her and asked a bunch of questions about what exactly had gone down before I got home.  I knew he was mad at her too and I was worried he acted like a total jerk to her.  He can be a big scary grump after all.  She’s got enough drama already in her teenaged mind.  She said “he didn’t really yell at me but he was mad.”  That pretty much sums up the conversation.  Apparently he also told her she needs to start worrying about other people too and not just herself and she needs to be more responsible around the house.  Not bad advice.  And spoken to her, not yelled at her.

Hmmmm.

Hey….. He didn’t yell at me either.  He was mad and said so.  But he DID NOT YELL.  Wow.

So then the stupid burritos were done and we all sat down to eat.  Hubby did not eat.  He sat with us and did not say much.  He gave me short, curt answers, but was not horrible.  After supper he went to the garage.  He stayed there the rest of the evening.  And he was not mean, but still distant when he left for work at 10pm.

When he got home this morning he was talkative and smiling.

So compare this story to this horrible dinner time melt down.

I am SO proud of him.  I will not tell him that because then I would be making a big deal out of it and he hates that :)

Do I think he should have even been mad in the first place?  No.
Do I wish he wouldn’t let stupid little things get to him?  Yes!
Does it bug me that it took him many hours to get over the fact that supper was late?  Very much so!
Do I think it is insane to blame me when the problem was that he over-slept?  Of course!
Do I think it is even more insane that he was mad about supper not being made and then he sat there holding a grudge and didn’t eat?  Duh.

But get this:  He was mad.  He did not yell.  He did not rant.  He dealt with it in his man cave and he let it go.

Awesome.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Laura
    Sep 26, 2011 @ 11:47:35

    Wow. Way to look on the positive side. I have to admit, I’d have a hard time seeing it that way. Good for you!

    Reply

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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