A quick update: marriage improvement, kids, and me.

There is so much I want to type.  So much.  But is is already so late.

I could be here for hours typing all that is on my mind.  And then I would feel sick & grumpy in the morning and I would be short tempered with my kiddos and I would feel like crap all day and not get much work done cuz I wouldn’t be able to focus and I would HATE cooking supper and end up ordering take-out instead even though it isn’t in our budget and then I would regret that and…  You get the idea.  I am trying to get to bed earlier and make myself actually keep some kind of healthy routine.  Not working very well yet but I will keep starting over :)

It is already past the bedtime I set for myself.  Sigh.

A few quick notes about what’s been happening in my life:

* Last Monday hubby announced he was going to be a “happy happy guy!” from now on.  I figured he was just being a sarcastic jerk, but he lived up to it all week.  So very weird how he can just decide that and it changes everything.

* Amazingly he is still being awesome as of today.  Wow has it only been 8 days?  Hmph.  Seemed like longer than that.

* Hubby invited me to go along with him on a day trip.  I really should have worked instead but was so shocked by the invitation that I figured I better check it out…. I’d either be dead or happier by the end of the day.  Still here…  :)

* Hubby and I went on a date.

* I dressed up and wore a clingy sparkly kinda low cut top (with a jacket) and heels on our date.  Heels people.  I have been a stay-at-home mom and then a work-at-home mom for 11 years.  Yea when I went to the office daily I wore all sorts of nice clothes.  Now my uniform is really jeans and a nice shirt.  For a few of the rough (3 kids under 5) years it was sweats and a tee.  So yes… I wore heels.  I felt pretty.  lol

* I went on that date: including a nice restaurant – without any ativan!  woo hoo!

* Hubby and I talked and talked about real issues.  REAL ones.  Repeatedly over several days.  Yep.  Lots to say about this one later.  Without yelling at each other.  For reals!

* Hubby made this statement.  “It’s great when we have sex like this after an argument – but I hope you know that doesn’t mean everything is ok.  We still have a lot of stuff to fix between us.”  WTF?!?  Who are you and what have you done with my husband??  Seriously!  This isn’t funny anymore!

* The closet door has been left unlatched a few times and has not been removed from the hinges.  In fact he never mentioned it even though I know he saw it.  And I’ll never tell if I did it on purpose or not!

* My baby boy turned 9!  Oh my.  My youngest is 9.  As they say, it really does go way too fast :(

* My 11 year old and her friends decided they want to be cougars because the 4th grade boys are so cute.  Ugh.

* My 13 year old has told me repeatedly that she is doing great in math and has never even once brought home homework to do because she gets it done in study hall and “It’s easy Mom!”.  Got a progress report in the mail today.  Had their first test last week.  She got a 51%.  51!!!   So now I get to be the math homework enforcement officer.  Hate that job!

* Hubby had a birthday and he opened his gifts with a smile.  Very out of character and very much appreciated.

* There is a performance coming up at a nearby college campus that I want to attend.  I used to go there all the time.  It’s been forever and I’ve been to none of these types of events at all since the panic attacks screwed up my life.  It is a huge deal that I am even considering it and I am excited about it!   I hope it works out that I can go.  It’s next week…

* Surely there is more but midnight is fast approaching and I really want to go catch up on reading Laura’s blog!

This was a (not so) quick summary.  I will babble more about all of it soon I am sure.



4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trish
    Oct 04, 2011 @ 09:17:47

    Wow!!! Sounds like your hubby has made a HUGE change in attitude! So happy for you!!


  2. Laura
    Oct 04, 2011 @ 12:31:16

    Amazing. Amazing!! WOW!! This is huge. Congratulations. I don’t even know what to say I am so shocked. I am totally thrilled for you.

    Also – thanks for the plug for my blog ;-)


  3. Meg
    Oct 10, 2011 @ 19:36:52

    I want to hear more about this attitude adjustment he had and how you managed to get him to do that. Is it real?


  4. toughwords
    Oct 11, 2011 @ 14:10:39

    That’s the thing – it wasn’t me. I cannot make that man do a darned thing. I guess I just had to wait until he was ready and I really hope it sticks this time. I’m being cautiously optimistic. So far so good. 15 days now. Yea, I’m counting. We’ll see.


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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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