He likes being happier.

So today we had some mushy moments and another nice talk….

Me:  So what brought you back?

Him: What?

Me:  What happened that you decided to be in this relationship again?

Him: I never went anywhere.

Me:  You know what I mean.  You are so much nicer than you were 2 weeks ago.  And it feels like you do really do want to be part of this again.

Him: I guess I thought about it.

In  my head:  you thought about it??????

Him: I think it was a lot because of what kid2 said about me being angry when they are around.  You see her in the mornings?  I love doing that with her.  She still doesn’t know what to think!

Me:  Yea, she just laughs and looks at you like you’re weird.

Him: She used to go away in the mornings.  Whenever I came home she would go upstairs right away and stay there until it was time to go.

(She did!  She avoided him in the mornings.  I didn’t blame her at all.)

Me:  So is this new happy guy here to stay?

Him: Yes.

Me:  Really hun?  Cuz I really don’t need to get my hopes all up just to have the rug pulled out from under me again.

Him: I mean it.

Me:  Like forever?  Or just as long as you have to so we quit fighting?

He thought about it for a moment.  Yea, forever.  I like being happier.

——————————————————————————————

He likes being happier.  Imagine that!

I think that he still misses the point about being grumpy cuz they are here now.  I don’t think she meant that he’s angry if they happen to be in the room or right there around him. She meant just in general, when they were born it sucked up all his time & money and he is grumpy because of that – all the time, not just when they are in the same area together.  Whatever.  It still seems to have made a point with him.

Also, let me explain that he is so much happier in the mornings when he gets home from work now.  On purpose.  He says to her “Good morning!  How are you today?” in this sugary sweet voice that makes her crack up.  She truly doesn’t know what to think.  But she smiles from ear to ear and you can just tell each day that she is relieved when he does it again, that he is still happy. She answers back in her own sugary sweet voice and they have a cute little conversation.  Kid3 just laughs at both of them. Kid1 leaves for school before he gets home so she is missing all of this.  Sorry to say he is gonna have to keep that up for a long time to get her to trust that this new happy dad is for real.

The thing that gets me? 

He thought about it!??! 

What?  He couldn’t have thought about it 2 years ago??  That’s all it took?  Like he decided to actually take some time and think about the things I have been saying to him for the past 2 years??  Of course I am happy with this turn of events in my home.  But it frustrates me to no end that he is so …. argh!  What is the word?  Independent?  Egocentric? Unaware of how his actions affect those around him?  He couldn’t be bothered to even think about all this before?   Agh!

I get being busy.  I get avoiding something cuz you are just too busy to deal with it.  But geesh.  Really?

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trish
    Oct 14, 2011 @ 22:39:27

    Wow!! What an AMAZING turn of events!!! So very happy for you!!!!!!

    Reply

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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