Concession Booth: Checked off my List.

Last night was the last Thursday night I’ll spend at the concession booth until next year.

This was one of the things on my “To Conquer” list.  That’s my list of things that I need to work on – my way of fighting back against panic attacks. Situations / places get put on that list as they come up usually.  If I am avoiding something because I fear having a panic attack, then it needs to go on my list!

Last year I completely avoided the booth with lies about not ever being available whenever it was that they asked me to work.   I guess a whole football season of guilt & lies bugged me enough to want to conquer it.  So this year I was determined to do it.  Step by step.  Exposure therapy :)

Well Thursday came, I went to the booth at 4:30 to open.  Pretty much as soon as I got there I realized I forgot to take an ativan.  I FORGOT.  That in itself is amazing.  That is always a sign that I have made progress!  When a situation is making me horribly anxious – I don’t forget to take my ativan.  Ever.  So yay that I forgot!

Then I had a quick “what if” kind of moment, pushed it out of my head and got to filling the crockpot with nacho cheese.

And the evening was just fine after that.

There is one more varsity home game.  I’m not scheduled to work it.  But if they call and ask, I will say yes :)  And then there is a Powder Puff game that they plan to have the booth open for.  I may or may not be done in there until next year.  When we start up again next year I hope it is easy for me to get back into.  I can always come back and read these posts can’t I?

I want to check this off my list for good.

Exposure Therapy.  Step by Step.  Little by Little.  Baby Steps.  Whatever you want to call it – It works!

1 – I found an opportunity that allowed me to be involved but avoid the crowds on Friday & avoid entire evenings in the booth – they needed someone to open the booth for all Thursday games.  Me!  Me!
2 – I asked a friend to share the “opening” responsibilities with me.  This made it less scary.  I just told her we could be each other’s back-up in case one of us couldn’t make it.  (Most of the time we both made it.)
3 – The first time or 2, I left as soon as possible.  As soon as any other help showed up, I was out of there!  (My friend often stayed the whole time just cuz she was having fun.)
4 – I started hanging around a bit longer and helping to serve some too.
5 – I agreed to (got guilted into) work the Friday night Homecoming game.  I pushed through and I didn’t hate it at all :)
6 – I FORGOT to take ativan yesterday before opening for the Jr High game.  And I lived.
7 – I’m writing this post about it.  I will read this again next year when the football schedule comes out :)  And I will know that I already checked the concession booth off the list.  No need for it to be put back on!  Done :)

THANK YOU LORD for not giving up on me!

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Jill
    Nov 03, 2011 @ 12:51:43

    Zoe i read this while I was waiting to go to the dentist. **Awesome!!**
    Can I have some nachos please? ;) And yes, re-read this whenever you need a lift or forget that you can beat the stupid anxiety. Stay awesome!!!!

    Reply

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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