I want this to be real.

So hubby is happier now.  We are happier now.  We are not perfect, I doubt we will ever get close to that.

I am impressed that he has stayed true to his attitude adjustment this long.  Mostly.

We have been mad at each other a few times.  He has irritated me quite a few times.  I have driven him to the garage a few times.


It is still a huge improvement from a year ago.

Right after he decided to be nice, he was very loving.  He was very attentive.  Of course I knew that wouldn’t last.

He is not being mean or harsh or ridiculous anymore – no he has not turned back into the jerk and I am thankful for that.  I did notice this week though that he has definitley toned down the mushiness though.  And yea, that’s ok.  It is to be expected in a relationship.

As long as it isn’t a sign that things are starting to go backwards with us.

I. will. not. go. back.

So we’re still doing ok.  Pretty ok.  He has been wonderful and amazing at times in the past few weeks too..

I am afraid.  I want this to be real.  I want this to be the real us.  I want this to be forever.  I could live with this man (as he is now)  forever and be happy.  Please pray that the jerk is gone for good.  I do see glimpses of him now & then.  They scare me.  I don’t want the rug pulled out from under me again.  I like where we are headed and I want to trust that we are in this together.

Time will tell.  I guess all I can do is wait & see.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Rambling Man
    Nov 14, 2011 @ 10:23:22

    Every marriage has it’s ups and downs, I think it is great that you realizing that and not expecting sunshine and daisies every day. Let his actions speak louder than words let time pass. Good luck!


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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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