Belly Button Piercing

Kid1 decided to pierce her belly button by herself.    Ouch.

First of all, she never even asked if she could get that done.  Would I have said OK if she asked?  Probably not.  But she never even asked.  Instead she snuck around and did it herself and hid it from us.

I found out because she showed her friends and one of their moms called me cuz her daughter told her it looked red and icky.  So she told me in case it was infected.  Ugh.

I told hubby.  I have to say we both wanted to laugh & cry at the same time I think.  I mean that’s kinda insane for her to do.  And then I’m mad because she lied to us.  I’m more mad about her lying and sneaking around than the hole in her belly.

Hubby handled it much better than I expected.  He said I should print out an article about infected belly piercings and a gross picture.  And then just lay it on her bed without saying anything.  I thought that was a great idea.  But I’m a more direct person I guess because before the evening was over it was all out in the open.

Later, I cried.  I just felt overwhelmed.  I feel like this child is a never ending project.  And I’m sure she wishes that I would just leave her alone.  I mean the issues lately have been – a D in science on the report card, failing math tests, diabetes blood tests, exercising which she hates, trying to get her to eat healthier and less sugar,…  I guess she probably feels overwhelmed too.  She fights me every step of the way.  It makes me want to give up and just wait for her to get it.  But no.  I will not give up.  Especially with these walks – I am determined to keep at it until she quits hating it! (and then keep going of course cuz then it might actually be enjoyable :)

She is not responsible at all.  I think she needs to take ownership of these things – her exercise, her food, her grades, etc.  She won’t.  She is just not a responsible person in general.  She forgets to bring things home from school.  She forgets to take things to school.  Her one chore is the dishwasher.  That girl will not do the dishwasher until I tell her to do it EVERY DAY.  And then every day she moans about having to do it.

Now I am well aware that you are not supposed to play the comparison game with your kids.  BUT.  My 11 year old daughter is in charge of (helping me with) laundry.  Last night I was not home.  11yo still found a full hamper that needed washed and did laundry.  And folded another basket that was in the living room.  No one told her to do this.  She just did it.  Kid1 – who is 13 – did not bother to do anything with the dishes at all.  This morning the sink was overflowing.  I loaded up the dishwasher and ran it after they left for school.  There is no reason for her not to have done it.  Hubby said she got her homework done early, so she had most of the evening to do whatever.  So she had time.  Just not the motivation.

But I can’t seem to find what motivates her and believe me I have tried many many things!

Oh – back to me crying.  I was back in my office alone and she came back.  She caught me crying.  And let me tell you that is the most remorseful I have ever seen her!  She was apologizing and saying she wouldn’t lie to me anymore and she knew she hurt me by sneaking around etc.  Seriously.  It was not a plan to guilt her.  I was really just crying cuz I’d had enough.  But wow!  I will have to remember that!  I’ve never been a fan of heaping on the mom guilt….  but it may actually work on this child!  lol

By the way I told her I wanted a picture.  She said “Why?”  I said “So you can look back at this someday and wonder what on earth you were thinking!”  So shhh.  Don’t tell her I put it on here :)


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Anonymous
    Nov 18, 2011 @ 19:23:43

    I think this is great!! The picture and public embarrassment that it. I do feel for you. My kids are young and I don’t have these problems, yet. The lying would get me the most upset too.


  2. Rambling Man
    Nov 18, 2011 @ 19:24:24

    I think this is great!! The picture and public embarrassment that it. I do feel for you. My kids are young and I don’t have these problems, yet. The lying would get me the most upset too.


  3. Jill
    Nov 19, 2011 @ 10:48:10

    I think your daughter is completely normal. This one will always be the one that baffles you the most- I’m sure you already know that. She is just finding her way, like all teenagers. It is in their nature to sneak around and try to do things independent of mom and dad- part of growing up. Even if they aren’t sneaky they would never tell us everything (although believe me I wish they would). Writing this and feeling your pain because I have a somewhat sneaky 15 year old who may well may be sporting a tatoo or piercing that I don’t know about.

    I think the fact that she walked in on you crying is huge. On some level she knows she is driving you nuts. You said she was remorseful – and no lecture from you or your husband could have had the same effect.

    Hang in there Zoe. Better days are ahead..


  4. Zoe
    Nov 19, 2011 @ 11:01:59

    Ha. Glad you enjoyed it so much Rambling Man – but just for the record, this blog is anonymous, so no public embarrassment. Just wait – teenagers are so much fun!
    Thanks Jill. Glad to hear you think she is normal. I was terrified of my Dad so I never would have done this! But, well…. Hmm I guess I did do some other stuff that my parents never knew about… lol I guess I should just be glad my kid isn’t terrified of me. When I look at all of this objectively I can see it’s not so horrible. But when you are in the middle of living it – it gets to you. Make sense? Ha. House cleaning day – I better go get busy! Happy Saturday everyone!


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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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