This Year is Different.

Relief.  I feel calm.  I feel like I can slow down now and perhaps enjoy this Christmas season more now.

I was feeling overwhelmed and like I had an endless list.   Well I still have a really big list.   But I have realized that it is a lot shorter than last year’s list!  A lot of the chaos was in my mind – because I was expecting it to get so very crazy like last year.

When I read back over that list I typed out a few days ago, I thought “wow – that actually doesn’t look so bad!”

And now the biggest stressor of the week – the Christmas concert – is over.

This year is different.

The rest of the week will be a piece of cake now.  Busy, but not panic attack material.

What is different than last year?

My kids are involved in fewer activities.  Last year Kids 2 & 3 were both in basketball leagues.  This year, just kid3.  And I don’t have to worry about having a bleacher meltdown until January 7th.  So I can mark that off of my list.

Girls Scouts.  Ah yes.  Girl Scouts.  This is the first time in 8 years that I am not a GS leader and my kids are not in troops.  Girl Scouts kept us busy.  “Girl Scouts make the world a better place.”  And we tried hard to fulfill that motto at Christmas time.  We went Christmas caroling to the old folks homes.  We took a field trip to a store and bought presents to donate.  We wrapped gifts for people.  We delivered gifts to elderly neighbors.  We made a float for the Christmas parade.   We sent Christmas card to soldiers.  And we had a Christmas party.

I forgot how very busy & nuts I was trying to plan all that for the girls.  It was a lot of fun and I often miss being a leader.  BUT, I appreciate that I have more time now for everything else.  This year has been crazy.  I can’t imagine what a mess I would be if I was trying to squeeze that in too.

And the MAIN thing that is different?  I’m not wanting to kick my hubby out of the house like I was last year.  I’m not crying all day long.  Or angry all day long.   Or so stinkin’  lonely.   I’m not crying myself to sleep at night.  We’re not hating each other like we were.

So, this is definitley an improvement.  And I’m glad I can see it more clearly now.  I’m not saying I won’t get overwhelmed again before this holiday is over.  But this perspective will help me keep it all in check.

Now I’m off to bed because I took off work tomorrow and hope to finish most of my Christmas shopping!  G’night!

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Jill
    Dec 15, 2011 @ 14:24:53

    I’m glad you’re noting all your successes and how good you feel. This will be something you can look back on if you ever need to!
    *Love* this time of year too!*
    Cheers & Blessings xx


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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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