My Ideal Christmas Day

I know I shouldn’t do this.  I know I should not get my hopes so way up high!  I keep thinking about it though.

I am afraid he will ruin another Christmas.

Not because of any recent issues, just because the past few have really sucked with him.

REALLY sucked.  Last year it was what ultimately led me to decide I was done with this marriage.

SO.  Yea, I’m a day dreamer sometimes.  I should be working but I’m so distracted by this!  So I’m here to type it out :)

Imagine a Christmas morning where everyone wakes up happy that it is Christmas.  Not with swearing about coffee not made yet or having to wait until the microwave beeps, and my tea is done.

Imagine a happy family laughing and getting along as they open gifts.  Imagine a hubby that smiles at his wife.  Imagine kids that are not afraid of being yelled at for opening a box or whatever to play with a new toy instead of waiting until all the gifts are opened.

Imagine a hubby that says Thank You to his wife for the gift she gave him.  Imagine him smiling at her while she opens her gift.

Seems like basic stuff right?  It ought to be.  Isn’t it that way in most families?  Even while growing up in my dysfunctional family, Christmas morning was no way as stressful as it has gotten here.  So yea, I feel like I’m harping on this.  Better typing it out here than saying it out loud and nagging hubby about it I guess.

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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