One Down, Eight More To Go

There were no bleachers at the basketball game tonight.  And really it was only a scrimmage.  There were not many people there.  Hubby was not there.  Girls begged to stay home – I think they were strung out from the Christmas parties they had at school today. So I went myself.  I found a chair and sat along the wall next to another mom that was there herself.  I sat close but not too close.  I don’t know her well and but I do know she likes to yell at the coach when she thinks her kid doesn’t get fair playing time etc.

Well she was lovely.  We gabbed & gabbed.

I did NOT take ativan today.  There was a battle in my head about this all afternoon.  I was not feeling very anxious today at all really.  But I was worrying about feeling anxious later at the game.  Ugh.  I managed to convince myself that I should not take ativan just because I fear I may want to take it later – or wish I had taken it.  I should only take it when I am actually feeling an attack come on and really need it.

I felt like I was going to the game naked.
I felt very vulnerable and exposed.

I’m happy to say that those feeling passed pretty quickly and I was able to enjoy the game.

One down, 8 more to go.  :)

Take that panic attacks.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Jill
    Dec 22, 2011 @ 05:43:30

    Not giving in to those feelings is sooo hard…Good girl Zoe!! :)


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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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