My Mom

Let’s talk about my mom shall we?

She called yesterday morning as I was typing that last blog post and replying to hubby’s texts about needing a phone number for someone.

I saw her on the caller ID and chose not to answer it.  She left a message.  She wants to know if I will host Easter dinner.
The thing is… it irritates me that the only time I see her is on holidays.  This year was different because she moved and needed our help.  So we actually saw her when she moved in early November, at Thanksgiving dinner at her house, another time at her new house because she wanted us to haul away an old refrigerator, and then at Christmas dinner at my brother’s house.  I haven’t seen her since then.  She did call on my birthday this year.  That was nice – and unusual, she normally just sends me a card.

She lives about 20 minutes from me.  She is about 15 minutes from the school.  She never even attempts to get together, or attend any of the kid’s events.  She is just a mom that I see on holidays.

Why don’t I try harder with her?  Been there, done that.  It is emotionally draining.  She really just doesn’t want bothered.

For Christmas and 4th of July we travel to see relatives about 3 hours away.  At the 4th of July picnic one year my cousin said “So what has your mom been up to?”  I said “I don’t know.  I haven’t seen her since we were here at Christmas.”  Picture shocked faces from everyone in hearing distance.  I didn’t say it rudely, I wasn’t upset.  It was just a fact that seemed so crazy to everyone else.  It didn’t to me.  To me it was normal.

So why didn’t I answer the phone?  Well, I couldn’t deal with it yesterday I guess.  I was very surprised to see her number on the caller ID.  Usually after I talk to her I get upset.  Sad mainly I guess.  I just didn’t want to deal with it.

And Easter dinner?  I hate hosting family gathering at times like this when my marriage is in the crapper.  Hubby and I will certainly have arguments about it, he will be a grump about the whole thing, I will pray that he is at least nice to people when they are here.  I will put on my fake happy smile and hope for the best.  Ugh.  Today is not a good day for me to think about that.  I will call her back next week.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Judi
    Mar 23, 2012 @ 10:33:15

    Both my parents are pretty much this way. They live about 2 hours away though.
    My father has NEVER been interested in my life. I barely communicate with him (he started it, I just took it to the next level). I know I have discussed it in my blog. I got tired of begging for him attention so I just quit calling him. He never called me. We went years.

    My mom is just doing her thing and can’t be bothered. If she were in town, she would stop by for a bit or take the kids clothes shopping but as it is, she hangs with her boyfriend and NEVER comes to visit. Every once in awhile if her BF has a doctor appointment near here, she will stop by for 20 minutes are so. We don’t even do holidays.

    My sibs are not much better. I am very alone in the world when it comes to my family. I am used to it now but I have always been jealous of people with close families. I always wanted to be one of the Waltons!!

    Reply

  2. Zoe
    Mar 25, 2012 @ 11:37:05

    HI Judi. That really sucks. My mom can’t be bothered. My dad tries but isn’t very good at it. Ha. I am close with my siblings and for that I am very grateful!
    I am closer to my mother-in-law than I am with my own mom. I have always been jealous of the closeness so many of my friends have with their moms so I know what you mean!
    I always wanted to live with the Ingalls (Little House on the Prairie)!

    Reply

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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