I Told Hubby I Have a BLOG

About anxiety, not our marriage….

I don’t remember exactly when I told him, it was shortly before the fight we had when he slept in the basement.

We were attempting to talk about our relationship.  Somehow it got to me saying I feel like he doesn’t even know me.  I brought up my panic attacks and that they are such a huge deal in my life, a huge part of pretty much every day of my life.  I pointed out that he knew nothing about that really at all cuz I don’t talk about it and he doesn’t ask.  I said something to the effect that I wish it wasn’t like that.  I wish we had each other to work through all of life’s craziness together.

And I told him I have a blog.

I told him that I met a lot of really awesome people online who I talk to about it a lot.  I said isn’t it sad that my friends online who I have never even really met know me better than my own husband does?  He said “I’m glad you have them to talk to.”

He said it in a kind way – like he is truly glad that I have a support system.  Wonderful.  But the part that is not wonderful? Seems like he was just relieved to not have to be bothered with it.  With me.

And it hasn’t been mentioned since.

He wasn’t phased one bit.  I was shocked.  This is the man that pretty much forbid me to even have a facebook account.  It took a while for me to get a backbone and get one anyway.  That was when I had had enough and stood up to him and shook up the whole relationship. (Yay me!)  So I was very surprised by his response.

I don’t know what any of it means.  It’s just another thing that happened.  I felt the need to type it out here.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. rootstoblossom
    Apr 22, 2012 @ 18:49:58

    These men are so confusing. Good you told him though.

    Reply

  2. Trish
    Apr 22, 2012 @ 22:34:36

    Yes, men are confusing!! They complain how they don’t understand women, and yet sometimes I think they don’t really want to! One time when my husband and I fought I gave him my journals to read so he could understand how unhappy I was. Gave him three years worth, & he didn’t even make it thru 6 mos before giving them back and telling me he couldn’t read anymore because it was too depressing! Well, duh!

    Reply

  3. Judi
    Apr 23, 2012 @ 13:46:13

    Zoe, it’s sad. I know just how you feel.

    Trish….We quite therapy cause it was depressing him. They just live in their own worlds. My husband is generally not interested in my life either….and that depresses me! HA

    Reply

  4. Zoe
    Apr 24, 2012 @ 11:08:54

    The men were depressed from hearing how miserable their wives are? Hmm. I thought they liked to fix things?!? So frustrating! Trish I love that you gave him your journals! And Judi – my hubby flat our refuses to go to therapy. Do you still go by yourself? My sister just started going and is so excited about it.

    Reply

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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