Our 18th Anniversary

Saturday was our 18th wedding anniversary.

Things have definitely been better around here since I backed off and took a break from the drama with him.  More on that later.

Not too long ago I told hubby that I needed him to kinda make a big deal of special days like birthdays, mothers day, anniversaries etc.  I know that he knows that I need that.  I don’t think I ever said it to him in such a straight forward way before though.

“You know how I’ve told you that I need you to show me that you appreciate me?  Well I need it even more on days like mother’s day and anniversaries and birthdays and stuff.  I don’t need anything big.  You can get me flowers.  Or pick me flowers!  Or write me a note – it doesn’t even have to cost anything.  I don’t want a big expensive thing.  I just want to know you appreciate me.  I need you to celebrate those days.”

About Mother’s Day:

“But you aren’t my mother.”
“I’m the mother of your children.   That counts.”
“OK.”

On Wednesday hubby asked me if we were gonna do anything special for our anniversary. I asked him what he wanted to do.  He didn’t know.  I was thrilled that he was thinking about it.  I was thrilled that he even cared to bring it up!

We talked about going to dinner.  We figured out that we would be at a baseball game at 4:30 on Saturday.  Maybe the kids could go home from the game with Gram& Pap.  Maybe we could go out for breakfast instead…

Neither of those happened actually.  But it was still ok.  It was a nice day.  He acknowledged our anniversary and was not acting irritated by it.   He was sweet actually.  He was easy to get along with all day.  We had fun goofing off together at the baseball game.

After the game, he took the kids for ice cream.  I went to Walmart with our mammoth grocery list. When I got home from the store he quickly got all the kids to come help carry in groceries and HE HELPED TOO.   He has not done that in a very long time.  I am so used to him being irritated at the world that I just do all these things myself.  He helped carry bags in,  he helped put things away.  He didn’t comment rudely about anything I bought.  Nice.

And then later, when I was cleaning up the kitchen, I found a note on the counter. 

(He does know how to spell anniversary by the way.  He makes fun of my spelling when I text – I leave out the vowels in many words to make them shorter obviously.  That’s why he wrote it that way!  )

The note was a photocopy of a kindle with a note on the top of it.  I have been borrowing my sister’s kindle – trying to figure out if I really want one – and if I will really use it.

He said he noticed that I have been reading in bed again – like I used to do – and he wants to get me one.

The “Forever and Ever Amen” is what we used to say to each other all the time.  It is even  inscribed on the inside of his wedding band.

I haven’t heard those words in a very long time.

Oh – and I got him a peach pie.  His favorite.  Simple, but much appreciated.

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jill Green
    May 08, 2012 @ 05:58:07

    Beautiful. Happy 18th Anniversary Zoe.

    Reply

  2. Judi
    May 08, 2012 @ 11:02:30

    Yea!! This is great. I am just thrilled for you. Happy Anniversary!

    Reply

  3. rootstoblossom
    May 08, 2012 @ 15:09:33

    Wonderful! Lots of love going around these days!

    Reply

  4. snarkatussin
    May 08, 2012 @ 22:31:17

    This makes me smile :)! Happy Anniversary!

    Reply

  5. Zoe
    May 08, 2012 @ 23:17:24

    Thanks guys :)

    Reply

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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