Anxiety Triggers: Shoes?

I love these shoes.

I bought them at the beginning of the summer and had not worn them yet!  The problem is that I really don’t dress up often. I ‘m more of a sneakers and flip-flops kind of girl :)

So hubby, Kid3 and I went grocery shopping Friday night.  I decided to wear my fancy shoes for the first time!  (to the grocery store – woo hoo!  lol)

They really are not very high.  And they are comfortable.  But of course they still felt different than normal when I walked.  I was just a little uncomfortable – feeling like I might trip or something stupid.

Then we went to Walmart.  Ugh Walmart.  It was crowded.  By this time my feet were starting to hurt – just a little.

The Problem?  I was uncomfortable.  Wal-mart was crowded.  My son was pushing the cart all erratically and running into people and things. I was trying to control that while still letting him help push it.  We ticked a lady off when we picked up the last case of water bottles.  My hubby was trying to explain to me in great detail what he needs this special kind of motor oil for…

The panic monster got me.   The dizziness hit me hard and I had to hold onto the cart.  I got very hot and sweaty.  I felt like I was watching from afar instead of living it.  I HATE that feeling.

I blame it on my beautiful shoes!  So sad.  I think just that little thing – being uncomfortable in those – was the trigger.  And I’m dealing with PMS full force so that was part of it too I’m sure.  But this really sucks.  How crazy is this??  I have been doing great in stores!  It was just that tiny thing – heels – that made me feel “off” and apparently my confidence took a nose dive.


I know it sounds stupid but I really do believe the shoes led to my freakout.

I did power through though.  I didn’t escape to the bathroom or run to the car or anything like that.  As I was walking along I kept thinking of Jill saying “Do it afraid”.

Do it afraid.     Do it afraid.     Do it afraid.     Do it afraid.     Do it afraid.     Do it afraid.     Do it afraid.

So I did.  It passed eventually.  Mostly.  I was very happy to get back in the car and head home.

So what to do now?

Wear the shoes everywhere possible until I get over it!  It better not take too long cuz my toes will freeze in this weather!


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Jill
    Sep 11, 2012 @ 13:03:02

    I so know what you mean about the shoes!! Girl those shoes were made for walkin’ not sitting in your closet. You will get there! I have trouble with small heels too (cuz Im a flip flop sneaker girl myself.) <3


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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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