The Plan for The Teenager

On Sunday morning before Kid1 got up and before everyone else got home, I made a plan for the teenager that creates havoc in our home.  :)

I love her dearly but wow she is difficult. The weekend was so nice with her.  I really enjoyed spending time with her and it was wonderful to have her talking to me instead of yelling and stomping and the rest.  I really want that to continue.  So I sat down at the computer and typed out all the things that we are constantly at odds about.

I googled teenager chores, teenagers behavior, etc.  There are MANY other people trying to figure this out to.  Glad to know I’m not alone.  There are a lot of lists and charts and schedules and contracts out there.  None of them seemed to fit tho.  So I decided to make my own.  It’s more like a checklist and it clearly states what we expect from her.  I figured that to make this work I have to start with the basics and then perhaps be able to add things as time goes by.  I only put on this list things that we already have issues with.  Nothing new.  That was hard because I have lots more that I’d love to add!

The goal of this is for her to be more responsible.  She knows what needs to be done but rarely does it without me nagging and without her throwing a fit.  It creates too much tension.  She is easily distracted.  As am I.  Lists help me.  Maybe they will help her too.  I want to involve hubby so he knows the plan and will back me up.  I have to come up with the plan first though – he hates being all “official” about stuff.  Well winging it has not really worked with Kid1.  There is just too much nagging and yelling and chaos with her.  It’s out of control.  This may or may not work but it’s worth a try.  I hope we can stick with it long enough to make a difference.

I showed it to her this morning.  She moaned.  She said I was treating her like a baby.  I disagree.  This is definitely the most grown-up to do list we have ever had.  We read over it together.  She smirked the whole way through it.  She agreed that these were reasonable requests.  The one she was most worried about was not being able to fight with her siblings.  Ha.  So we’ll see.  She completed her daily list  for today already.  Yippee.

In case you are interested, here is the plan for the teenager. :)



_____Show mom papers and tell about upcoming tests

_____Tell mom about any schedule changes

_____Volleyball uniform need washed?

_____Does the dishwasher need done?

_____Clean up shoes by the door (only 1 pair on rug)

_____Put dirty clothes in hamper

_____Put clean clothes in drawers

_____Hang up towel in bathroom (right after shower!)

_____Throw away garbage

_____Pick out clothes for tomorrow


_____Empty garbage can


_____Check Grades Online

_____Help with housework on weekend

Weekly Allowance: $____________
(Parents will change this as needed based on seasons – volleyball, football games etc.)

Unacceptable behavior:

  • Not completing chores
  • A bad attitude
  • Yelling at family
  • Fighting with siblings
  • Not being honest about homework or tests
  • Waiting until right before a project is due to start it.


  • Allowance reduced for incomplete chores or bad attitude about them.
  • Lose Ipod
  • Lose cell phone
  • No TV
  • Be grounded.

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. mostlikelytomarry
    Oct 15, 2012 @ 12:36:57

    Will look forward to hearing how this plays out. I hope it helps relieve tension in your house. Good luck!


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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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