Easter with my mom

Ok tell me it’s not just me.

I’ve talked before about how I barely have a relationship with my mom.  We get together for holidays and that is about it even though she only lives about 20 minutes from me.  She’s just not interested.  We get along fine, we’re polite, we’re just not close.

So my mom sent us all an email about a week ago to find out when we could all get together for Easter.  She told us they finally finished their renovation.  I don’t even know what renovation she is talking about.  She also asked if we would host it again.  I didn’t reply for a few days.  I’m sorry but it made me mad.  She has a nice big house.  She has more seating room than any of us.  And she just finished some renovation.  Why wouldn’t she just have it?  Wouldn’t it be nice to let your kids see your ‘renovation’?

My sister did suggest to her once that she now has the perfect house for family get togethers and we should just always have them there.  It was just spur of the moment comment but my  mom made it clear that was not going to happen.  It was not “fair to her” to have to do that.  What???  It’s not like she cooks the whole meal either!  We all bring a dish or two.  Heck last time one of my sisters even provided the ham for the main dish.  It’s too much of a burden to have her kids over more than once a year??

Anyway, my sister finally replied with dates that worked for her family and said “Doesn’t (me) always host?  Maybe someone else should.”  This is the sister that I am closest to and she probably knew I was stewing on it.  So then I replied and agreed to the dates and asked if someone else was volunteering.

THEN this morning my mom replies and says those dates don’t work cuz my aunt and uncle will be visiting that weekend.  WHAT?  My aunt and uncle have been here maybe 3 times.  They live in another state.  I LOVE my Aunt.  She is one of the most lovable people you will ever meet.  I’m SURE she would be happy to see us too.  It just immediately hit me in the gut.  It makes no sense.  What possible reason would there be to not even already be planning to all get together when they visit??    My uncle has Parkinsons and has some trouble but usually he just goes to another room and lies down when he gets tired at these types of events.  But he still comes and usually it is the whole family which is a lot more people than this would be.  I’ll bet she’ll use that as an excuse.  And I’ll bet my aunt will wonder why we didn’t come see her when she visited….

I text my sister and told her to read mom’s email and tell me her gut reaction.  She replied with exactly what I was thinking.  But then she replied to mom and asked her why we couldn’t still have it and that it would be nice to see them.  I’m too stubborn to say that.  It makes me so mad.

It’s not just me, right?


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Barbara
    Mar 23, 2013 @ 16:03:09

    Something is definitely amiss. I would say that you should try to talk to your mom but I don’t think it will bring any resolution. The whole thing sucks. Just because a person has children doesn’t mean they have any sense of what it takes to be a parent.


  2. Zoe
    Mar 25, 2013 @ 06:59:29

    You’re right Barbara, I don’t think it would do any good at all to talk to her. Thanks for your comment!


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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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