Just a Normal Argument

I’m mad at him.  But I don’t hate him.

That is a big statement right there.  Yes, I am totally ticked off at him right now.  He is being a jerk and yelled and thru a hissy at me over things that don’t make sense.  Things that were fine yesterday, and will be fine again tomorrow. He is just grumpy and acting like a jerk.

The good thing about this situation is that I didn’t immediately start fuming in my head about leaving him. That has been my response for a long time.  A long time.  I will admit that the thought did pop in my head at one point.  But my angry self apparently didn’t think it was the best solution this time because that thought went away pretty quickly. yay!

Before today, when he acted like a jerk, I would truly feel like I hated him.  I would go over and over it in my mind, knowing I should have left him long ago.

Another thing I did today was I didn’t back down.  I didn’t get up in his face, but I said what I wanted to say.  I used to weigh my words very carefully.  I had to be sure they were worth the storm that would come if I spoke my opinion.  I am no longer afraid to speak my opinion.  I will admit that I was hesitant cuz I knew it would just fire him up more, but I know now that I need to speak up and I did.

He’s got to know he was flipping out over stupid stuff.

He was being a jerk, but I didn’t immediately want to divorce him.  I just kinda thought about him being a bit crazy and grumpy and how later he will know he was being nuts.  We all have bad moods right?

Progress.   He was clearly annoyed with me, but did continue to speak to me.  It wasn’t like before when he would completely ignore me and act like I wasn’t even in the room.

So yea,  I’m mad at him and want to declare that I’m not speaking to him until he apologizes.  That is completely unrealistic though because he never apologizes for anything – and I don’t want this to drag out forever.  Hopefully he will admit to being nuts and over-reacting and we can move on.

It felt like a normal married couple argument.   Not even a fight.  Not a huge deal that threatens to destroy us.

Awesome.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Barbara
    Mar 26, 2013 @ 23:53:58

    I thin your husband and my husband need to live with each other for about 6 months to see how childish and annoying their behaviour is. Today my husband tried to start a fight because I was using the mouse on my computer and clicking while he watched the opening credits on a movie. He turned the TV off and stormed away. I told him he that he could throw a hissy fit all he wanted but I was not going to get in to it with him and to sit down and watch his movie. He did.

    Reply

  2. Zoe
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 08:49:18

    LOL. Good for you. Sorry to laugh but imagining the clicking sounds of your mouse annoying him made me laugh. I love your idea about them living together tho. I’ll be that would cure them!

    Reply

  3. Jill
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 10:06:01

    So then don’t speak to him until *you* feel better. The feelings will pass. My husband too never ever apologizes so I had to learn to adjust my expectations because it was never gonna happen in my house. LOL. This sounds very mature on your part Zoe, seeing it for what it is and not jumping to major conclusions.

    Reply

  4. Judi
    Mar 27, 2013 @ 11:39:44

    This is good news. Sometimes if you just change your mind it changes so much. :)

    My husband won’t apologize either. Men often suck like that.

    And Barbara….my husband gets aggravated if I chew too loud while he is watching TV. I finally started just looking at him and saying “really?” in a very sarcastic tone. It’s seems to stop the nasty looks he gives me. I mean really…who is that sensitive to what is going on around them. Grow up boys!!

    Reply

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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