A Terrible Cycle

This is from a post on http://passiveaggressiveabuse.wordpress.com

It is a description of domestic violence.  It’s a terrible cycle and this hit me.  It makes me so freakin mad!  My situation is mild compared to many, but the cycle is still there….

“Why do abusive people act nice for a little while and then turn around and go back to being mean?”

“The answer is, it’s a reward system.  Abusers reward their victims for staying. ‘Good victim, good girl. You stayed, here’s a nice treat for you.’ The victim thinks it’s not so bad any more. She stops thinking about leaving. She starts to give back. She may even think he’s done being abusive. But he always goes back to being abusive.”


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. judi
    Apr 03, 2013 @ 14:16:10

    Thanks for the link. I know i will be reading her blog! And yes…it is a bad (sad) cycle. :(


  2. Writing about Passive Aggression
    Apr 07, 2013 @ 17:28:55

    Hi, Zoe, Yes, it is a crazy, crazy cycle. I think the only way I personally will get out of it is to leave. Because otherwise, I still find myself going through it. Almost daily. Good luck to you! :}


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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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