All Fancied Up

Kids 1 & 2 went to the spring formal last weekend.  They looked gorgeous of course.  Kid2 wore her purple converse sneakers with her fancy dress.  Oh yes she did.  I love her individuality!

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Last year for the spring formal, Kid1 went and we took lots of pictures of her all dressed up and gorgeous.  You know how everyone takes pictures right?  And then we go to the grandparents house and they take pictures etc.  Getting all fancied up is a big deal!  Well.  Last year hubby was a complete ass.  He didn’t even seem interested in any of it.  When we were out on the porch taking pictures I called him over.  I wanted him to tell her she was beautiful.  I wanted him to smile at her.  He didn’t.  He was irritated because I interrupted whatever he was doing.  But he sat down on the porch.  Then I asked him to take a picture of me with Kid1.  Then I asked him to get in a picture with her.  First he said no.  Then I asked again and he reluctantly did and DID NOT SMILE at all.  He was pissed at me and is glaring at me in the picture.  Awesome.  I swear it looks like a mug shot.  I was so sad for Kid1.  And I was furious with him!  You don’t do that to your daughter.  Ugh.

And then in the fall both girls went to the homecoming dance.  This is another fancy dance.  This was Kid2’s first fancy dance.  Hubby was not even home for that.  He could have been.  In fact he left while they were getting ready.  He just left.  He didn’t even say goodbye to them.  He wasn’t going anywhere spectacular.  Probably the parts store.  It could have waited.  I don’t think it even crossed his mind that he should stick around so he could oooh and aaaahhh at his daughters.  So obviously there were no pictures of daddy & daughters for that dance.  I wish it was important to him.  He should have wanted to be there to see kid2 dressed up for her first fancy dance.  Honestly though I was relieved that he wasn’t there when they were all ready.  I didn’t want a repeat of the last dance.

We had a big blowup a while back.  I vented so much at him during that conversation  and one of the things I told him about was how horrible it is when he acts like that for pictures.  He does that all the time – not just that day.   I told him how selfish it was.  I said who cares if he doesn’t want his picture taken – it’s not for him.  It’s for his daughter!  His daughter will someday look back at these pictures and you want her to have good  memories of that day.  I want her to look at these pictures and remember how proud her daddy was of her and how much he loves her.  I told him all she will see is that daddy was pissed that he had to be bothered to take a picture with her.  She will remember that he was annoyed that he had to quit playing with his tractors to come see her all dressed up.  She will not feel loved by that at all!  Dances and fancy dresses are important to teenage girls.

This year was so much better!!  He came back into the house when it was almost time for them to be going.  He watched the time and came back in time to see them? Yep.  They weren’t quite ready, so he went outside and I heard him tell Kid3 that they weren’t going back to the barn yet cuz he wanted to wait for the girls.  Yep.  As soon we went outside, he came up to the porch.  I took a bunch of pictures of the girls.  Then he took some pictures of me with the girls.  Then I asked him to get in a pic and he did and he smiled.  And then Kid3 got in the picture too.  That is my favorite picture!  Beautiful girls, proud pappa with a smile on his face and little bro with a weird expression on his face like he is wondering why he has to be in this crazy pic with his fancy sisters.    I wanted to ask Kid3 to take a pic of hubby and me together with the girls but I didn’t.  It was going so well, I didn’t want to push it.

So much better.  Soooooo much better.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Judi
    Apr 22, 2013 @ 14:25:24



  2. Barbara
    Apr 22, 2013 @ 15:44:26

    There is hope! Make sure you give him positive feedback. Men need that. It pisses me off but it is true.


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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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