Too Freakin’ Hot for a Ballgame

I am having a “there’s too much to do and it’s too freakin’ hot and I can’t breathe” kind of day.

And I’m almost out of ativan.  And I need it for later cuz I’m supposed to be going to a major league baseball game tonight with all the in-laws. I don’t want to go.  It’s too hot and big crowds freak me out and big bleachers freak me out too.

My mind is racing with all of the different scenarios where I tell hubby I don’t want to go.  He has been excited about all of us going for a long time though.  If I don’t go, it’s just one more way that I am a disappointment to him. And my kids want me to go.  There is more guilt.

God help me.

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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