How do women do it all?

I took off work last week Tues-Friday cuz I felt like I was losing my mind and hubby was  on vaca and we were so freaking busy running around.  And I wanted to catch up on some stuff around the house.  Actually I worked about an hour a day most of those days before people got up in the mornings.    It was awesome and I felt so relaxed being able to just hang out with my family and not worry about getting back to the stupid computer and deadlines hanging over my head.But now I am so far behind and my hours for this paycheck are gonna suck.  And we need the money now more than ever.

Besides that, working from home when everyone is home all day is crazy hard. It really is, I don’t think people believe that but it is very hard for me to stay focused.

Today I worked about an hour this morning, then we went to xyz and picked up the pop up camper we just bought (for an awesome deal! have been looking for one for several years!), then I worked about half an hour before taking everyone to the dentist.  I was going to work when we got home but the girls went shopping with their cousin and Kid3 was the only one here and he wanted to hang out with me. I love that he wants to hang out with me and hate that I constantly have to tell him I cant do stuff cuz I am working.  So we set up the camper and started cleaning it out.

Tomorrow morning we are scrubbing it.  I will work after that.

Thursday the kids have dr appts/physicals at 9:15.  Then we go to the eye doctor. Then we need to exchange Kid3’s sneakers, buy 2  bday gifts, and grocery shop.   It is not going to be a quick trip. I was hoping to take them to Olive Garden too.  It’s probably been about a year since we all went out to eat somewhere that wasn’t fast food!    I am not complaining and I am looking forward to that day with my babies.  I’m just saying that its another day that I’m not working.  Hopefully I will get to work when we get home from that.  If I have any energy left.

Friday I’m pretty sure I will get to work. I want to make a lasagna to take to the camp. Kid2 has a basketball game at 5:30 at the Y.

Hubby wants to leave for the camp Friday night after the basketball game

I want to go cuz I feel left out.
I want to go cuz I know my kids want me to go.
I want to go so I won’t feel guilty for not going like I always do.

But then it is also the perfect time for me to actually get some work done.  Sigh.  I dont know.   I am so freaking stressed out and no one seems to get it.

I’ve got 7 hours of work that I didn’t get done for July for a special project.  If I get it done soon, I can back date it so it is on this paycheck.  It pays good money – much more than my normal hourly rate,

We need the money, that is the truth.

It makes me want to cry cuz I feel like a disappointment to everyone.  I don’t know what to do about it though.  I have a job and responsibilities that I am falling behind on.  I have a family who feels like I “always have to work”.  I can’t do it all.  That’s all I guess.

And next weekend we are going on our family camping trip so that is more time away.  I am excited about that and cant wait.  The camp they are going to this weekend  is hubby’s family camp.  It’s not really a camp, its more like a trailer on a mountain.  They love, i don’t.  :)

I probably won’t go. I will feel guilty. I will make the in-laws mad and disappoint hubby and my kids.  Yippee.

At least I will be able to pay the bills though right?

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Barbara
    Jul 31, 2013 @ 20:15:18

    I think you should go. Work will always be there. It sounds like you need some time to just relax! Ahhhh!

    Reply

  2. Zoe
    Aug 02, 2013 @ 21:49:24

    Hi Barbara. They left about an hour ago. I didn’t go. I do need some time to just relax you are right! The thing is, it’s more relaxing for me here without the family/in-laws chaos. I really don’t enjoy going to the in-laws camp. There is so much running around and visiting other family and cooking huge meals and going yard-saling and driving about an hour away to elk viewing area…. There are some fun parts, but it is NOT a relaxing kind of camping that they do. They are always running around somewhere. And mom-in-law is all about feeding the masses and expects all women to help and the kitchen is small and crowded and ugh I hate it! lol The TV is blaring and the kids are playing the xbox on another TV, and …. next weekend we are going to go camping for real. Primitive camping where there is peace and quiet and just fun stuff like swimming in the lake and cooking over the fire to do. THAT is my kind of camping! I can’t wait.

    Reply

  3. Barbara
    Aug 03, 2013 @ 03:19:54

    After reading this, I agree. I would have stayed home too!

    Reply

  4. rootstoblossom
    Aug 03, 2013 @ 15:53:25

    I’ve been making this decision for myself too this year – staying home alone when hubby and kids go do crazy events like camping, tractor pulls, overnights at in-laws, etc. I pre-stress about those events, don’t enjoy being a part of them, and then take loads of recovery time. I LOVE being home alone. Sometimes the guilt is terrible, or I’ll attack myself saying I should want to be with my family at all times, I’m a terrible wife/mother for abandoning them. But we need to take care of ourselves and nurture the introvert within. Sometimes I do crazy (possibly overwhelming) events, and sometimes they do calm peaceful (possibly boring) events. My 1 son shows signs of being an introvert and will prefer to leave a pool party to watch tv or play a game alone. No one thinks he’s terrible for his preference, just a part of who he is. (and working peacefully, making extra money is a huge bonus!! but not required to justify the time alone, let go of the guilt)

    Reply

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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