Salt & Pepper Fury

I cooked supper in the crockpot yesterday and later asked hubby if he liked it since it was something I had never cooked before.  He said it was great.  I said “You must have put salt & pepper on it huh?  Because …”  And that’s as far as I got.  He immediately got mad and yelled at me that he only put salt & pepper on his own, not the whole crockpot full. And he went on and on and was so mad at me!  OK……

Once again, we had a big issue where I had to explain that I am not the devil and was not accusing him of anything.  Right away he assumed that I was giving him heck cuz I thought he ruined a crockpot full of food maybe?  He’s on the defensive.  Lately, he interprets anything I say as me attacking him.

I wasn’t attacking him.  I was just talking about the food.  I didn’t like it and thought it didn’t really have any flavor.  I put salt on it and then it was OK.  He puts tons of salt & pepper on everything so when I asked him if he liked supper and he said he did, I thought that must be why.  That is all!  I don’t think my tone was accusing or angry or loud.  I know it wasn’t!  He is just all defensive again and I don’t know why.  And it sucks.

I know he’s stressed. Our schedule sucks right now.  Kid2 has basketball practice from 8:30-10am.  Then both girls have band camp from 10-2:45am.  Then Kid1 has volleyball practice from 4:30-7.  This started Monday and continues all next week too.  Then school starts and basketball, volleyball and football games (band!) are in full swing.  Yesterday we threw in an eye dr appointment and an orthodontist appointment too.  Oh, and Kid2 went to her running group last night too at 7pm.  It seems all I do is run back and forth to town – about 10 minutes each way now cuz there is construction.  In between that I am working cuz, you know, I have a job.  My family seems to forget that and it is definitely not high priority to them.  Grrr.

Of course there are projects that we wanted to complete this summer that didn’t get done.  So there are half finished things everywhere you look, the house needs cleaned.  There are laundry piles in the living room.  We are back-to-school shopping ( in a very limited way!)  The farm show in our town is this week and the kids are all in it with their different groups.

Today we add team photos to the regular schedule so that is more running around.

The other day he woke up around 4.  2 of the kids and I were sitting in the living room with the TV on, eating sandwiches.  Kid1 had to be at vball in half an hour and that was supper.  Well he came down and saw me sitting there and I swear he thinks I do that all day while he is sleeping!  I had been sitting there maybe 10 minutes!  And then we were off running again.   Geesh.

Give me a break.  And give me some credit!

And get your head out of your butt and realize that I am not out to get you!  I have proven that time and time again.  What more will it take??

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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