Elated.

What a beautiful night!

We went to the theater to see Annie.  Imagine it in your head in a British accent for full affect.  That’s the way my kids were saying it all the way through dinner and all the way there.  You can tell we don’t get out much. Ha!

After getting over the teenage eye rolling, everyone seemed happy to go and hubby did too.  Not once did he say that he didn’t want to go.  Then we discussed that we would have to drive separately because he would not have time to come home before heading out to work.  I thought that might make him declare that he wasn’t going.  He said some choice words and told me to plan these things on a weekend next time instead of a Thursday night.  Hmm…. next time.  Yep, I heard that!  But he still went – he dressed up a little, looked all handsome, and smiled and we went to the theater! (don’t forget the British accent!)

Panic attacks, well….. I had some nerves.  Not too many but some.  There were some times when I started to feel “swirly” and looked away from the performance and around at the people, architecture and amazing detail of the building for a while instead.  I looked at my kids.  I looked at my hubby.  I was just so happy that we were all there together.  And we were making happy memories.  And then I would get teary-eyed about that.  The panic attack that may have been coming never arrived and for that I am so thankful.

In case you’re wondering – Ativan?  Yes.  2.

Oh – I had planned on sitting in the end seat for easy exit upon freak out.  The seats were so small and smushed!  Oh my.  It is a very old antique theater.  And they say people used to be smaller right?  ha.  I am 5′ 5″.  I sat the whole way back in my seat and my knees still touched the back of the seat in front of me.  They were not comfortable seats!  Anyway, I moved is so hubby could sit on the end as soon as I saw how tight it was going to be. I was still fine.  I went through the scenario in my head a few times where I leap over him to get to the exit.  ha

The whole way home I just felt giddy.  Giddy!

I did it.  And NOT ONLY did I attend this big event and sit in a crowded place without having a panic attack, I got to do this with my whole family together.  That was truly the best part.  We all went together.  Like a real family.  And no one was being a jerk or holding a grudge or making anyone else miserable.  It felt so right.

Yes, ELATED is the perfect word to describe how I feel tonight.

If only hubby didn’t have to go to work tonight.  If only he was home with me now, cuddling up next to me in bed.  That would make the night even more perfect.

Ahhh.  A girl can dream.  I think I may have some very good dreams tonight :)

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Barbara
    Nov 22, 2013 @ 02:23:10

    Good for you! Live theatre (once the play starts) is one of the things that I seem to be able to handle. It is before and after that freaks me out!

    Reply

  2. Writing about Passive Aggression
    Nov 22, 2013 @ 07:16:44

    I’m really happy for you that you had such a nice evening! We need those every now and then, don’t we?!?!?! :}

    Reply

  3. Anonymous
    Nov 24, 2013 @ 21:46:19

    Excellent! You went and kicked theater butt! Way to go! Keep up the good work.

    Reply

  4. rootstoblossom
    Dec 04, 2013 @ 10:39:41

    I loved reading this, your joy came right through your words and I was enjoying it right there with you! So happy for you and your family to have shared that experience.

    Reply

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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