He Tried to Sleep with Me

Ha ha.  It’s not how it sounds…

New Years Eve
For the first time EVER we were all awake at midnight on New Years Eve!  Usually at least one of the kids is sound asleep.  And hubby is usually out but we wake him up.

Around 1am I was headed to bed and asked if he was coming soon.  I cant remember his exact answer but basically it was probably not – and he probably wasn’t going to sleep upstairs either – and he was more than a little defensive about it.  He had been asleep on and off all night.  He sleeps so weird from working 3rd shift!

I said  “Hubby.  Really?”  which of course sounded like a scolding from someone’s mother, which of course makes him want to rebel right?  I heard my tone too late, after it was already out of my mouth.  The kids were all sitting there looking at me and I’m glad they were or I probably would have started a fight with him.  So I went up to bed and tried not to be pissed off.  Lots of angry thoughts running through my head.  “Great way to start 2014 – with a great big pile of rejection from my husband.”  “So nothing has really changed at all has it???”  I really hate when he doesn’t sleep in the same bed with me.

To me, moments are important.  Occasions are worth recognizing and making into special moments. Traditions can be awesome.  You know – kiss at midnight on New Years eve.  Kiss under the mistletoe at Christmas time (still waiting for that one!)  etc etc etc.  Those are perfect scenarios for a little romance – and no big planning is required right!?!?

The way I look at it –  it’s New Years Eve – its a new start to a new year – lets start it right…  I wanna kiss my hubby at midnight and wake up in the same bed as my husband on the first day of the new year.

The way I think he sees it –  It’s 1am, it’s late but he’s wide awake.  Craig Ferguson is on.

So I laid in bed and told him off in my head for a good while.  I knew that I REALLY didn’t want this to be the way we start the new year though, especially because things have been good.  And he HAS been sleeping with me more often than he has in a long time.  So I calmed myself and changed my attitude and went to the basement where he was watching TV.  I said “I don’t want to fight with you but you aren’t gonna ditch me on New Years eve!”  I said it with a big smile :D  He just laughed a little and said he wasn’t ditching me, he was just wide awake and wanted to watch Ferguson a while.  OK then.  I kissed him and went to bed.

He came to bed  a short while later.  :)

Well apparently he was miserable and couldn’t sleep.  Finally he had enough and went downstairs.

When I came downstairs the next morning he was watching TV.  I got my coffee and joined him.  I think he was waiting for me to give him heck.  He started telling me how miserable he was all night.  He said he had eaten way too much the day before (had 2 family get-togethers that day).  He said his belly felt big like a great big beer belly and he had heart burn.  He slept sitting up in the recliner in the living room.

He told me that he said to himself “She knows I was here.  I’m going downstairs!”

I love that!  :)

He cared how I felt.  That is beyond awesome!

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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