TWENTY Years

We have been married for 20 years.   TWENTY YEARS.

I don’t feel old enough for that to be possible!

But yes, today is our 20th anniversary.  And I really felt like celebrating it this year!  For real.  That is the best feeling ever.

I found this quaint little cabin not too far away with a hot tub that I wanted to rent and have a little get away but hubby shot that idea down cuz it was too expensive.  I disagreed but let it go….  I should have just booked it and then surprised him.

He worked last night of course. We decided to go to breakfast this morning together since evenings are full of baseball games and all sorts of other kid events.

There is a new Bob Evans in our area so we went there and got big yummy breakfast meals.  Then we ran around to do a few errands and came home.  Not very exciting but… it was fun.  And relaxing.  Then we came home and enjoyed each others company a little bit more before he went to sleep :)

I feel secure it my marriage.  I feel happy.  I feel loved.  The other day his jerk side popped out and I was very worried but just went away from him for a while.  The next day I asked him about it and he said knew he wasn’t being OK and explained what he was feeling and we moved on.  Life isn’t prefect.  It never will be.  But I love my husband and he loves me and we have a happy marriage.  It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to say that!

Today, I am PROUD to say that I have been married to this man for 20 years.  (We all know that wasn’t always the case!!!)

When I initially told hubby about the cabin I wanted to rent, he said that he’d be happy just to stay home and cook some burgers on the grill.   I said What is that??  This is 20 years we need to do something more special!!  Ha.

Later I was thinking about that and it grew in my mind to having a party.  I thought we could do it a Friday evening – 7:00ish so it would soon get dark and we could enjoy the firepit and some fire works and glow stick on the trampoline (Kids – not me!)….  I picture us inviting both sides of the family and maybe even some friends.  And let the kids invite friends too.  Plus it seems more causal if it is dark out and we aren’t all sitting there in the sunlight wondering what to say to each other… we never get together with both sides of the family so that might be a little weird.  But I think that letting the kids invite friends too makes it all a bit more chaotic and fun and not calm and boring with people not knowing what to say.  I picture burgers on the grill, hot dogs and kraut in the crockpot, potatoe skins in the oven, my mom-in-laws pies, chips, dips, fruit trays and veggies with dip.  My sis-in-law has some lawn games we could borrow.  Hubby’s side of the family likes to drink so we can have coolers with beer and wine coolers, and another with soda.  I want to send people invitations that say “Come help us celebrate our 20th anniversary!”  See, I’m figuring it all out in my head.

A few days ago I asked him if he meant he wanted to have people over and do burgers…. he said no, I meant just our family…  So he meant just like that’s what he’d like for dinner.  Ha.  He laughed off the idea of a party.

I brought it up again today in the car.  I told him who I wanted to invite etc.  I told him I feel like we are in a good place and have a happy marriage and its been a crazy 20 years and I think we are happier now than for a long long time – maybe ever.  He agreed with the “maybe ever” statement by the way.  :)  I told him I actually feel like celebrating this cuz I’m so happy and proud of us.  He didn’t say a lot but said “let me think about it…..”   I even told him the date I want to have it.  So now, I will wait a few days before I bring it up again.  Obviously if he doesn’t want to, it will not be fun, it will be stressful and something for us to argue about instead of being a celebration so I need to get him on board.

I’m really excited about it though and that surprises me actually.

 

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.
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