Please stop swearing at your spouse!

WordPress compiles blog stats at the end of each year.  Very interesting.

How to Get Your Husband to Stop Swearing

The top post in this past year is  about women wanting their husbands to stop swearing.  I have been so surprised by the number of people who end up here by googling about how to get their hubbies to stop swearing!  I am glad I’m not alone with this problem.

I’m not judging you if you swear.  I’m just saying that if your partner complains about it and has asked you to stop (for 13 years!) – then please stop.  I know it’s not a big deal to some people.  But it is to others.  And if you happen to live with a person that it bothers, for pete’s sake – STOP IT!

I’m not saying I never swear either.  I can easily go a whole day without using a curse word though.  Some people (my husband) can’t make it through a whole sentence.  I especially hate it when he does it in front of my kids.  I’m sorry but it just seems trashy to me when used constantly.

Certainly you are smart & creative enough to find some other words to use.

Alternative Language for Swear and Cuss Words

101 Great Cuss/Swear Word Alternatives

These are some of the search terms about swearing husbands that brought people to my blog.  Very sad actually.

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He’s so negative!

Hubby is in the shower right now.

He is in there swearing “Son of a bitch!”  “Come on!”  “Jesus Christ!”

Like what on earth would make a person yell and swear when they are in the shower?  Ummm… maybe he ran out of shampoo?  Nope just put new bottles of shampoo & conditioner in there.  He get scalded cuz someone ran some cold water somewhere?  Nope, kids are in bed and I am here.  He doesn’t shave in the shower so he couldn’t have cut himself.

I have no idea.

He’s so negative!  Why the heck does he have to be so negative and angry about everything?!?!

I want to live in a peaceful home. 

I would have listened.

I have been asking him to quit swearing for almost 17 years.  (Our 17 year anniversary is in a few weeks.)

Ok, now I probably didn’t really care about that until we had kids – that was 4 years in.  So, correction –

I have been asking him to quit swearing for 13 years.

I promise you that if he had been asking me to stop doing something for 13 years, I would have listened.

Seriously, if something I did bugged him so much that he continued to ask me to knock it off for 13 years……  I would have stopped it!

13 years!  Are you kidding me?  How can he not get how much it bugs me?  No way, right?  So that means he knows and just doesn’t care.  That sucks even more than not knowing.

The man cannot even have a conversation without saying at least one swear word.  In front of whoever happens to be there.

Right now he has some R rated movie cranked up in the living room while the kids are having easter egg hunts.  All sorts of beautiful words blaring into our home.  Come on, that’s not cool.

I feel like a nag, battle-ax, madcap, ogress, spitfire, wench.

Take your pick.

What I mean is I kinda feel like a bitch now.

I have been “in his face”, standing my ground for a while now.  And that is good.  It is good for me.  It has been good for our marriage.  I dare say it is even good for hubby.  But I feel confrontational!  I feel like a bitch.  Yep.  Didn’t I just write a post about how I hate when people swear?  Oops.

Ok.  I’ll say it differently….. What’s another word I can use?  Nag?  Eh – not quite.  No idea.  Bitch is the word.

I call him on it when he acts like a jerk.  I persist when he ignores me or doesn’t answer me.  I have also written before about how just delaying my responses has helped a lot.  It helps me to not just react to him and escalate the situation.  When I slow down, even just for a few seconds, I can think clearly about what I want to say, it’s not just a knee jerk reaction that adds fuel to the fire.  I think I need to take it a step further.  I need to work on my tone.  I think I can still stand my ground and boldly be me without being bitchy.  (Boy I wish I could think of a different word that worked here!)

Synonyms from Thesauras.com are below.  Wow there are some weird words there.  Fish wife?  Madcap – kinda like that one.  Hussy? Ha – that’s not what I thought that word meant.  Battle-ax?  That may be the best one….    But I like madcap.

OK, I’ll start over….

I feel like a madcap now.

I won’t really start over.  Why?  Cuz I’m a rebel.  Ha.  This is not a writing assignment for school or anything, it is my rambling blog :)

I want to be able to stand up for myself without being a madcap.  I think that if can watch the tone of my voice and just speak more calmly and quietly I will feel better about myself.  I won’t feel so confrontational all the time.  That is not the mood I am trying to create in this house. I want this to be a peaceful happy place.  So my challenge now is to keep standing my ground but do it in a more pleasant way.  Ha.  Basically, I’m gonna try to speak more softly.   And quite possibly hubby won’t feel quite so defensive then either.

Thesauras.com

Main Entry: shrew
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: mean lady
Synonyms: amazon, backbiter, battle-ax, biddy, bitch , calumniator, carper, detractor, dragon, fire-eater, fishwife, fury, harpy, harridan, hell cat, hellion, hussy, madcap, muckraker, nag, ogress, old biddy, porcupine, reviler, scold, she-devil, she-wolf, siren, spitfire, termagant, tigress, virago, vituperator, vixen, wench 

 

“Mom! Don’t swear!”

Yesterday I said something about being “pissed off”.  I don’t usually say that and Kid2 yelled at me and said “Mom!  Don’t swear!”

I told her that was not a swear word and she argued with me about that for a while.  Ha.  Anyway, she did finally believe me and was so relieved.  She apparently heard her teacher tell her son not to “get pissy” once.  lol.  She thought she was swearing at him and has been shocked ever since that her teacher would swear!

Just a cute little story that I never want to forget :)

How to Get Your Husband to Stop Swearing

Sike.

I don’t have the answer.

Actually I do. The answer is that you can’t. He has to make that decision on his own.

Believe me, I don’t want to accept that answer either. I know swearing doesn’t bug some people. But it does bug me. I hate that my kids are growing up in a household where they hear it every day. Hubby was raised that way. Now he swears – not just if he’s mad, just part of his normal conversations. I assume my kids will do the same. Although maybe, just maybe they won’t just because of the example I have set.

I have googled that many times over the years. “How to get husband to stop swearing”. There are a lot of people online asking that question and the answer seems to always be the same. You can’t make him. He has to do it himself. Lots of people recommend a “swear jar”. You know – he has to put money in it every time he swears. But for that to work, hubby would have to play along. And he’s not really trying so why would he do that? Besides that, his money is my money is his money…. It’s not like we have our own money and it will really impact him anyway. Neither one of us carries around much spending money ever anyway. We use our debit card for most everything. It just really wouldn’t make much of an impact.

Although recently hubby and I were talking about how mad he gets when kid1 licks her fingers at the table. He hates it and always yells at her when she does it. No that is not good manners and we have told her about it time after time. It’s just a really bad habit she needs to break. We thought maybe having a “lick your fingers” jar would work for her. After all, she does have her own money (earned from chores, etc) that she would HATE to lose. Maybe if we bring that up to her she will say “then dad needs to have a swear jar!” Maybe then he would play along…. I don’t know. See, I guess I haven’t given up yet…lol

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not the perfect little soul that never swears. It slips out occasionally. And I used to swear quite a bit. As a teenager, and yea even into my twenties. But after I had kids and I saw those innocent little faces watching my every move, I knew it was time to grow up. I wanted to be a better role model for them.

Hubby likes to remind me of one of my not-so-grand swearing moments. I was pregnant with Kid1 and had just started having contractions early one morning. Of course I had never been through that before and was blown away by the pain. I was pacing back and forth in our little home repeating the F-word quite loudly. I probably did that for about 30 minutes, while we timed contractions etc, trying to figure out if it was really labor or not and if we should go to the hospital. It was real and we went and about 10 hours later kid1 was born. I’m happy to report that I didn’t keep using that word at the hospital that day. Must have gotten it out of my system that morning. lol. It’s funny cuz that is the word I hate the most and I never did say that one much, guess it suited the moment though!

Happily he doesn’t use the f-word daily. Although it has slipped out a time or two when he was really mad. He does feel bad about using that one in front of them so I guess that is a plus. He works in a dirty, manly place. Lots of swearing and “guy” stuff going on there. Guess it is hard to leave it at work. He says I need to lighten up. Basically we’re at a stand still. So I think I have to let it go. There are worse things, right? Yea, I’ll continue to hope and pray that he makes that decision. And yea, wouldn’t it be awesome if Kid1 brings it up if we start a jar for finger licking …. They already say “Dad!” when he swears so they aren’t afraid to tell him about it.

O my gosh. Look what I just found!

Cuss Control Academy

 

Follow Up Post:  Please Stop Swearing at your Spouse!

 

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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.