I Have Some Work To Do

I have some work to do.

My panic attacks are getting worse instead of better.  I need to focus on all the things I’ve done in the past to fight back.  I need to get back to being caffeine-free or at least limit my morning coffee to one cup.  I need to get more sleep.  I need to drink my Tulsi Tea. I need to exercise more regularly.  I need my daily dose of inspiration from Jill’s site.

The kids are out of school for the summer.  That is awesome.  It has also been stressful and chaotic.  I was not prepared with a summer plan.  Usually I at least try to come up with a new work schedule for me and we brain storm what we want to do and make a list etc.  That didn’t happen this year – I think because we went to the beach 3 days after school was out.  There are many things going on – many schedules to coordinate –  and I feel like we are just reacting to all of that instead of being intentional and making the most of our days.  I want to make this a happy, productive summer with my family!

My weight loss has been de-railed since we got back from the beach.  I am sitting on my butt at this desk working more, my exercise schedule doesn’t even exist anymore and we’ve been eating supper at the ball field way too often.  I need to take charge of this again quickly!

I’m hoping that by getting more organized, there will be less time where there are long amounts of time where the kids are plugged in for hours.  We need to set some limits for the electronics – otherwise they get so cranky!

Hubby has been terribly grumpy since we got back from vacation.  He isn’t adjusting to the kids being home well either.  That just means that he is not sleeping nearly enough!  So then he is grumpy and short tempered of course.

The kids are grumpy because of constantly changing schedules and never knowing what to expect.  And they have a major melt down when I ask them to help around the house.  Their friends apparently have total freedom in the summer and it is cruel and unusual punishment for me to ask them to fold some laundry.

So.  Here is the plan.  We will get through the weekend the best we can.  Too much craziness to even take the time to regroup.  And then on Monday I will take an hour or 2 and plan and get my act together.  Or maybe I will do that Sunday night if I have any energy left.

This post is the first step.  Blogging always helps me see everything more clearly!

TGIF

(Pray for me please! Tonight I am working in the concession stand and my anxiety is on overload due to the wonderful timing of PMS!)

8 Pounds Down

My goal was to lose 13 pounds by the time we went to the beach.  I didn’t meet that goal but I did lose 8 pounds.  woot woot!

Breakfasts at the beach were too good though so I’m sure I gained some back already!  I refuse to get back on that scale yet.  lol

https://i0.wp.com/images.wisegeek.com/bacon-strips.jpg

Image Source: http://www.wisegeek.com

Weight Loss Ticker

I added a weight loss ticker on the right —–>>

I’m hoping it might help me be more accountable.  I was down 5 pounds, but have already gained back 3.  Grrr.

My goal is to lose 13 pounds total by the time we go to the beach in June.

I have a little over 3 months.  4 pounds a month would be 12.  4 pounds a month is completely do-able.

I can do it!


Being Disgusted with Yourself Can Be a Good Thing!

“Sometimes, you need a healthy level of disgust with yourself to make a change.”
– Dave Ramsey

Love this quote by Dave Ramsey.  Of course he was talking about spending habits.  But it can be applied to so much more!

Weight loss – apparently I’m not disgusted enough by my 10-15 extra pounds to really lose it.  I’ll need to work on this more.  Perhaps standing naked in front of a mirror will help.  lol

Parenting – I do think I am finally disgusted enough about the yelling in this house. By everyone – not just me.  I do so much better at keeping my cool.  Sometimes the kids even wonder what is wrong with me when I react calmly.  That’s a great sign that I’ve made some changes!   Yay!

Panic Attacks – I was definitely disgusted by the quality of my life!  I am still working hard – every day – to conquer my panic / anxiety attacks.  I will prevail because I am just that disgusted with the whole thing.

Marriage – of course.  Things will not really change until both of us are disgusted enough with the state of our marriage.  I am.  He isn’t yet I guess.  I can only change my own behavior – I have.  Now I’m waiting for him to do the same.  Hmm.  The problem I see here is that he is an egotistical man – I doubt he will ever truly feel disgusted with himself.  Does that mean he will never make a change?  I hope not.

..

Quote source: The Cure for Excessive Spending


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This blog is my personal journal. I am trying hard to save my marriage. No, I am trying to build a great marriage. In case you haven't heard, marriage is HARD!
I am fighting back against anxiety & panic attacks. This is year 5 of this adventure. I am also codependent. I am an ACOA. Fun, Fun. I am trying hard to become a better me.