Hi. There is so much to say, I am behind. I blog in my head, but can’t seem to get here to type it out.
Let’s see. I did start the inevitable ‘Vday Sucks’ post but never finished it. It is quite ugly anyway. Probably better left in the draft section. Short story: hubby didn’t get me anything for VDay, I tried not to care but failed. We’ve had this issue for years. Gifts are one of my love languages so it truly is important to me. He knows that. I am not a materialistic bitch that demands expensive gifts. I just want to know I am appreciated. Valued. I think gifts say that because someone made the effort and wanted to take the time to show you that you are loved. That is special. I’ve said it before… write me a note, buy me my favorite gum or candy bar… whatever! Or even better yet – actually look at me and say some kind words and say “Happy Valentine’s Day.” That is all I ask. Words of affirmation are my primary love language :)
I’ve had a rough time controlling my emotions lately. Doing better the last few days but it was rough for a while. It was not the regular PMS time so I don’t know what’s up but I was a freakin mess. I lost it on hubby. Not proud. Just being honest. I have felt all out of sorts and can’t figure out why. It felt like PMS that wouldn’t go away. Ugh. I am feeling normal now and hopefully this lasts!
LENT: Usually I don’t give up anything for lent. I haven’t for many years but we were reading about it cuz the kids were asking questions so I decided to give up coffee. I know. I am stupid! I love my coffee! I knew it was going to be hard. That’s the point though right? I’m wondering if that had anything to do with my erratic mood that just wouldn’t quit. I haven’t had any coffee for 6 days now. Woo hoo. Caffeine withdrawal is rough! I am drinking tea instead so I am still getting caffeine, but not nearly as much. Kids 2 & 3 gave up minecraft for lent. THAT has been very hard for my son especially. It was his own decision though and I am proud of him for sticking with it. One of the articles we read said that Sundays didn’t count, meaning you could have whatever you gave up on Sundays. I never heard that before but that is what happened with minecraft and it has helped. I didn’t have coffee on Sunday, didn’t want to be tempted back to my beloved coffee! Anyway, the last few days I have felt much calmer. Not sure if it has to do with my hormone cycle or maybe because I got the caffeine out of my system. I’ve been meaning to cut back anyway since caffeine is NOT good for people with anxiety / panic attacks.
We had 2 deaths in the family last week and the funerals were this past weekend. They were both hubby’s relatives that we were not real close with. Turns out I only went to one viewing. Hubby attended more than that but I became the family babysitter for moms that didn’t want to take their kids to the funerals. That was much easier. I was stressing a lot about going. I was proud of hubby for going without me. He is quite anti-social and dreads these things too.
I know there is more I wanted to babble about…. I will add it later I guess as I remember.
Tomorrow I take 2 kiddos to the eye doctor and on Thursday Kid2 gets her braces on. Anxiety about these appointments? No… yea right!
G’night all!
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