Continuing from the last post & comments… about an article called 7 Thoughts That Will Change Your Marriage
This pertains to #4 about couples drifting apart .
A while back, during one of our ‘discussions’ , hubby opened up and told me how he is SO stressed about everything and feels tremendous pressure constantly. Even about the little things that make no sense to me that he should worry about. (See: Phases )
I’ve been thinking about that ever since and decided that I am going to try everything I can think of to help him de-stress. We need to find ways to have more fun, and be less stressed. Together. I’ve had several ideas but none have really stuck yet. I want to exercise more, he always says he should start – we tried to take walks together. Could never get the times to work (darn 3rd shift!) Then, thinking of my sis & her hubby who love to play endless card games together, I decided to try that. I was just looking for something we could do together that was relaxed and fun, no pressure. Well he’s not really into card games. I’ve tried playing calm music during the after school/dinner prep/homework time – that didn’t really help either. I love geocaching, he isn’t interested in that at all (altho I haven’t given up on that yet! )
I don’t know what the solution is. But I am determined to find something that we can enjoy doing together.
And this would also be awesome because hubby’s love language is quality time. Physical touch used to be an important one for him too, not so much anymore :( So I really really need to find something we would want to do together. Sadly, it is harder than it should be.
I googled to try to find some new ideas. Honestly, I don’t see any of those happening. I may have to start cooking more. Ugh. That is one thing that I know he values. But geesh… every. single . day? Perhaps if he were less critical it would be more fun! Hey hubby – throw me some words of affirmation and I’ll cook you a steak! Sounds like fair trade right??
– recreate your first date.
– go out for coffee
– have a fancy date night at home
– go to the gym together, play tennis together
– go away on a vacation together
– dance together
– run errands together
– shower together
– do chores together
– go for a walk together
– cook together
– hold hands
Here is a nice list – A Month of Dates for Married Couples
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